I thought you mighta figured this out earlier, but I got a Death Wish sort of thing going on. Except it's more that I know my actions, both back home and here, at some point will mean I need to die, and therefore I'd rather die a certain way instead of the way I'm expected to! So I-- don't mean to worry you or anythin', but it's the way I know my life has been set for me!
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