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gotosleep_idiot2010-10-18 02:04 am
stabbywheelfeet.livejournal.com) wrote in gotosleep_idiot2010-10-18 02:04 am
Entry tags:
HOKAY SO.
So there's this trick-or-treat meme. It's basically like Truth or Dare but with e-candy. Anyway. A certain Bossbot tricked me into writing the El Tango De Roxanne scene from Moulin Rouge. Only as if it took place in Nautilus.
If you don't know what that is get out.
For no discernible reason, everyone is gathered in a dance hall. The hall is dark. Off to one side, stands Optimus Prime. He looks angsty. Or, at least, perturbed. Included also in on the scene are Sideswipe, Demyx, Lara Croft, Lelouch, Altair, and assorted other characters. There's an awkward silence - clearly something uncomfortable has been discussed previously, and everyone is just trying to regain their composure after the fact. This is when, over on the piano,filling the role of "the Doctor for this parody Ratchet strikes up a few random notes, accompanied tentatively by Demyx on his sitar, which sounds a lot like a violin. Sideswipe steps forward, striking a pose on the dance floor.
"We have a dance!
In the brothels of Buenos Aires..."
At the strange looks from the assembled crowd, he makes a face.
"I drove through it once, all right? Anyway...
It tells the story
Of the Spiderlady--!"
He gestures over towards Lara, who shoots him a look that indicates she would like to strip his gears to make a tricycle. He makes a "come here" hand motion. She pulls out a gun. They stand like this for a few awkward moments before Lara reluctantly steps forward into a convenient spotlight. Sideswipe nods to her, and continues, gesturing this time to Optimus.
"And the Bossbot!
Who fell in love...
with her..."
At this point, Optimus' expression turns disgruntled, and he makes no move to join the silver 'bot. With a long-suffering sigh, Sideswipe motions the spotlight back over to himself. He pauses in concentration before suddenly a human takes his place, speaking with his voice. He saunters over towards Lara, and the two, reacting to a spontaneous bout of music - as provided by Demyx's sitar - begin what appears to be a tango. Sideswipe narrates, enjoying the sound of his own voice.
"First there is desire
Then... passion!"
As they pose with one another, arms and legs entwined, a figure in white wanders through the dance floor, trying to blend in with the assembled personages. Lara's attention is hopelessly distracted by the slow-moving assassin, and she falters in a step. Sideswipe immediately pulls away, circling her at arms' length while she makes throttling motions at him.
"Then... suspicion!
Jealosy! Anger! Betrayal!
Where love is for the highest bidder--"
Here, Lara interjects with a word she certainly didn't learn from her classy British upbringing. Sideswipe continues as if he hasn't heard her, their dance steps turning more threatening - he's being dramatic, she's wishing she could pistol-whip him into shutting up.
"There can be no trust.
Without trust,
there is no love!
Jealousy.
Yes, jealousy...!"
The music trails off, and Sideswipe's voice begins to echo strangely throughout the dance hall, while he continues backing off the dance floor. Meanwhile, Altair's blending attempt has landed him in the spotlight. Lara regards the 4th wall as if to say "That'll do", and, trying to regain his invisibility, the two pick up the dance again. Sideswipe looks back towards Optimus' sulk corner. The other characters begin to filter onto the floor.
"... Will drive you... will drive you... will drive you... mad!"
All the lights come up then, revealing the crowd assembled now on the dance floor, in neat parallel lines. In addition to Altair and Lara, people such as Aya and Kyle, Claire and Chane, Legato and Xemnas, Starscream and Axel... all dancing what appears to be a slow, stylized version of the tango. In addition, there's an arm and a leg at one end, just sort of sitting there, as if they were intended to be a couple. They all do their dance, while Sideswipe stands on his stairs and belts out:
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
A pause. The dancing stops while everyone stares at the overly loud Autobot. Someonepossibly Starscream throws a tomato. Undaunted, Sideswipe continues. As do the dancers.
"You don't have to put on that red light
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right~!"
More couples cycle into view - Alexandra and Peter, Wendy and Thomas, BLU Pyro and Tony, Firo and... his hat. Once again, Sideswipe sings a little too loudly.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
This time, everyone continues, just to spite him. Although, at some point, partners have been changed. Aya is now partnered with an incredibly confused Graham, and Xemnas is being pulled between Saix and... a plate of waffles.
"You don't have to wear that dress tonight-
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
You don't have to sell your body to the night...!"
Meanwhile, and elsewhere. Optimus has had enough of this bizarre tango dance, and taken it upon himself to do the smart thing and get the hell out of dodge. It seems to work for a time, but the magic of the sitar - or Nautilus, but we'll blame the sitar for once - gets to him eventually. Pacing around the edge of the dance floor, Optimus can't help but give voice to his own quiet lament:
"His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand...!"
As he walks, he begins to pass between the lines of dancers. He continues to sing quietly, but with no less passion in his voice. Meanwhile, Sideswipe ruins the moment repeatedly from his perch on the stairs.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
"Why does my heart cry?"
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
"Feelings I can't fight
You're free to leave me, but just don't decieve me
And please believe me when I say I love you...!"
Optimus' walk has taken him out of the dance hall proper, and, strangely enough, to a stop in front of a huge castle. There's a sign hanging on the castle drawbridge that reads simply, "CASA DE MEGA-DUKE." Noting this, Optimus makes another disgruntled face. Meanwhile, back inside the dance hall, all the dancers have paused, allowing for a single spotlight to take center stage. It's Lelouch. In a flamenco outfit, complete with a rose between his teeth. Out of nowhere, he speaks... well. It sounds like Spanish.
"Yo que te quiero tanto, qu voy a hacer
Me dejaste, me dejaste
En un tango
El alma se me fue..."
Back outside, as Optimus looks sadly up at the castle, a black and gold figure can be seen, looking at him with an expression that clearly wants to know what he thinks he's doing down there. He gives a half-hearted little wave before she turns away. Inside the dance hall, the solo performance continues.
"Se me fue el corazon
Ya no tengo ganas de vivir
Porque no te puedo convencer
Que no te vendas Roxanne..."
The piano cuts off, while Demyx strikes up a melodramatic few chords. The dancers respond, their movements slower, more menacing - although that could be due to the sudden arrival of Pyramid Head getting his groove on. Outside, a massive shadow looms on the balcony behind Optimus' own spiderlady. He makes a last, futile attempt to get her attention before the Decepticon overlord, and duke of this parody, pulls her into hisswanky bachelor pad lair, while the music builds up to its final crescendo of awesome. Sideswipe can't bear to stay silent any longer, and neither can Optimus, apparently.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
"Why does my heart cry?"
Lara and Altair's dancing gets a little more out of control and passionate, while Sideswipe and Optimus have a battle of singing voices. The dancers pick up Optimus' part to help him out, since he is clearly the underdog, having his girlfriend stolen out from under him like that.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
"Feelings I can't fight...!
Here, Sideswipe descends his staircase, advancing on the pair dancing in the middle of all the crazy couples.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!
You don't have to put on that red light...!"
It's a little difficult, since people keep getting in the way, but, eventually, he makes his way over to them. Demyx is playing like a Nobody possessed, and all the dancers are moving at an insane pace, having abandoned all pretense of actually trying to tango, and simply raving around out on the dance floor.
"Rooooooooooooxanne!"
As the last note sounds, Sidesiwpe makes as if to do something strangle-y to Lara, but, instead, is cracked in the face by her braid. Being human, and therefore completely off-balance, he falls flat on his back, staring dazedly up at the ceiling while the music dies, and everyone wonders what the hell just happened and why they're dancing with cardboard cut-outs of John Hamm and Optimus cries quietly offscreen.
If you don't know what that is get out.
For no discernible reason, everyone is gathered in a dance hall. The hall is dark. Off to one side, stands Optimus Prime. He looks angsty. Or, at least, perturbed. Included also in on the scene are Sideswipe, Demyx, Lara Croft, Lelouch, Altair, and assorted other characters. There's an awkward silence - clearly something uncomfortable has been discussed previously, and everyone is just trying to regain their composure after the fact. This is when, over on the piano,
"We have a dance!
In the brothels of Buenos Aires..."
At the strange looks from the assembled crowd, he makes a face.
"I drove through it once, all right? Anyway...
It tells the story
Of the Spiderlady--!"
He gestures over towards Lara, who shoots him a look that indicates she would like to strip his gears to make a tricycle. He makes a "come here" hand motion. She pulls out a gun. They stand like this for a few awkward moments before Lara reluctantly steps forward into a convenient spotlight. Sideswipe nods to her, and continues, gesturing this time to Optimus.
"And the Bossbot!
Who fell in love...
with her..."
At this point, Optimus' expression turns disgruntled, and he makes no move to join the silver 'bot. With a long-suffering sigh, Sideswipe motions the spotlight back over to himself. He pauses in concentration before suddenly a human takes his place, speaking with his voice. He saunters over towards Lara, and the two, reacting to a spontaneous bout of music - as provided by Demyx's sitar - begin what appears to be a tango. Sideswipe narrates, enjoying the sound of his own voice.
"First there is desire
Then... passion!"
As they pose with one another, arms and legs entwined, a figure in white wanders through the dance floor, trying to blend in with the assembled personages. Lara's attention is hopelessly distracted by the slow-moving assassin, and she falters in a step. Sideswipe immediately pulls away, circling her at arms' length while she makes throttling motions at him.
"Then... suspicion!
Jealosy! Anger! Betrayal!
Where love is for the highest bidder--"
Here, Lara interjects with a word she certainly didn't learn from her classy British upbringing. Sideswipe continues as if he hasn't heard her, their dance steps turning more threatening - he's being dramatic, she's wishing she could pistol-whip him into shutting up.
"There can be no trust.
Without trust,
there is no love!
Jealousy.
Yes, jealousy...!"
The music trails off, and Sideswipe's voice begins to echo strangely throughout the dance hall, while he continues backing off the dance floor. Meanwhile, Altair's blending attempt has landed him in the spotlight. Lara regards the 4th wall as if to say "That'll do", and, trying to regain his invisibility, the two pick up the dance again. Sideswipe looks back towards Optimus' sulk corner. The other characters begin to filter onto the floor.
"... Will drive you... will drive you... will drive you... mad!"
All the lights come up then, revealing the crowd assembled now on the dance floor, in neat parallel lines. In addition to Altair and Lara, people such as Aya and Kyle, Claire and Chane, Legato and Xemnas, Starscream and Axel... all dancing what appears to be a slow, stylized version of the tango. In addition, there's an arm and a leg at one end, just sort of sitting there, as if they were intended to be a couple. They all do their dance, while Sideswipe stands on his stairs and belts out:
A pause. The dancing stops while everyone stares at the overly loud Autobot. Someone
"You don't have to put on that red light
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right~!"
More couples cycle into view - Alexandra and Peter, Wendy and Thomas, BLU Pyro and Tony, Firo and... his hat. Once again, Sideswipe sings a little too loudly.
This time, everyone continues, just to spite him. Although, at some point, partners have been changed. Aya is now partnered with an incredibly confused Graham, and Xemnas is being pulled between Saix and... a plate of waffles.
"You don't have to wear that dress tonight-
You don't have to sell your body to the night...!"
Meanwhile, and elsewhere. Optimus has had enough of this bizarre tango dance, and taken it upon himself to do the smart thing and get the hell out of dodge. It seems to work for a time, but the magic of the sitar - or Nautilus, but we'll blame the sitar for once - gets to him eventually. Pacing around the edge of the dance floor, Optimus can't help but give voice to his own quiet lament:
"His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand...!"
As he walks, he begins to pass between the lines of dancers. He continues to sing quietly, but with no less passion in his voice. Meanwhile, Sideswipe ruins the moment repeatedly from his perch on the stairs.
"Why does my heart cry?"
"Feelings I can't fight
You're free to leave me, but just don't decieve me
And please believe me when I say I love you...!"
Optimus' walk has taken him out of the dance hall proper, and, strangely enough, to a stop in front of a huge castle. There's a sign hanging on the castle drawbridge that reads simply, "CASA DE MEGA-DUKE." Noting this, Optimus makes another disgruntled face. Meanwhile, back inside the dance hall, all the dancers have paused, allowing for a single spotlight to take center stage. It's Lelouch. In a flamenco outfit, complete with a rose between his teeth. Out of nowhere, he speaks... well. It sounds like Spanish.
"Yo que te quiero tanto, qu voy a hacer
Me dejaste, me dejaste
En un tango
El alma se me fue..."
Back outside, as Optimus looks sadly up at the castle, a black and gold figure can be seen, looking at him with an expression that clearly wants to know what he thinks he's doing down there. He gives a half-hearted little wave before she turns away. Inside the dance hall, the solo performance continues.
"Se me fue el corazon
Ya no tengo ganas de vivir
Porque no te puedo convencer
Que no te vendas Roxanne..."
The piano cuts off, while Demyx strikes up a melodramatic few chords. The dancers respond, their movements slower, more menacing - although that could be due to the sudden arrival of Pyramid Head getting his groove on. Outside, a massive shadow looms on the balcony behind Optimus' own spiderlady. He makes a last, futile attempt to get her attention before the Decepticon overlord, and duke of this parody, pulls her into his
"Why does my heart cry?"
Lara and Altair's dancing gets a little more out of control and passionate, while Sideswipe and Optimus have a battle of singing voices. The dancers pick up Optimus' part to help him out, since he is clearly the underdog, having his girlfriend stolen out from under him like that.
"Feelings I can't fight...!
Here, Sideswipe descends his staircase, advancing on the pair dancing in the middle of all the crazy couples.
You don't have to put on that red light...!"
It's a little difficult, since people keep getting in the way, but, eventually, he makes his way over to them. Demyx is playing like a Nobody possessed, and all the dancers are moving at an insane pace, having abandoned all pretense of actually trying to tango, and simply raving around out on the dance floor.
As the last note sounds, Sidesiwpe makes as if to do something strangle-y to Lara, but, instead, is cracked in the face by her braid. Being human, and therefore completely off-balance, he falls flat on his back, staring dazedly up at the ceiling while the music dies, and everyone wonders what the hell just happened and why they're dancing with cardboard cut-outs of John Hamm and Optimus cries quietly offscreen.