"I'm not scared," he said. Rule number one, shut up. Just... shut up.
"And I always answer calls for help, and you know that. That's even how I met River the first time. First for me, not her. Sent a call for help to me, too early. Before I knew her. I came when you needed me that first day too, didn't I? Back when I was all ears and thought wearing a dead cow and a jumper made me edgy." He kissed her forehead back, but then stepped away to look her in the face. "But even if you don't remember that Rose, it isn't something I could ever forget. I don't know why you made that choice, you never stopped to tell me. You were halfway down his throat and didn't even notice I walked away. And I am NOT like this with River, thank you very much!" If this was all real and a past face of his was hurting River there would be words. Not enough words to create a paradox, over a pair of docs, he hoped. But words. Then he'd take River out for a proper date to remind her that she got the best looking face, thank you very much.
"And how do you think the timelines can go on, if we just stay here, Rose? Have you met Donna yet? All you did with Donna, all you saw in a universe without me. I made myself too big, too loud, too noisy. I get that now, I do. But all that still had to happen. The bad with the good. You're the one that drilled that into our thick heads, you know."
Does Rose know why he has this face? Why he is this man he is now? How much she broke both his hearts choosing the human him, even if he'd as good as told her to? That she chose that to be the first last and only time she ever did what he said? How much he ran after that, trying to escape the emptiness inside him, flying alone in the Tardis? She didn't know any of it. The Master coming back, unless he told her of course. Would explain some of what she said. But...
But Rose left him. Would he have done what he did on Mars if she'd been there? Would she have made him help from the start? Or would she be the reason he left before he could make a mess of things? Would he have left Christina De Souza or would she have come with them for a time?He didn't doubt for a second that he'd help wilf again. Rose there or not, he would save Donna's grandfather, his friend. But would he have hesitated as he did, if Rose were there? He didn't like who he'd been after Rose left.
When she was gone, when she was trapped... there was a part of him still trying to live up to how she saw him, to be HER Doctor. When she came back, it was like one of his hearts had been returned to him. And then she left. Not like Martha who made him keep a phone and called him when she wanted to. Rose picked a Doctor, and it wasn't him.
Even here, it wasn't him. Because whoever that man was she married? That wasn't the man who watched Rose walk away. The man who took a young face and crashed into Amelia Pond's garden box to fix a crack in her wall.
Guilt. That was what Rose Tyler was now. Here and there, she chose someone else. And he had to stop letting that hurt him. Not sure how, yet. But he had to.
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"And I always answer calls for help, and you know that. That's even how I met River the first time. First for me, not her. Sent a call for help to me, too early. Before I knew her. I came when you needed me that first day too, didn't I? Back when I was all ears and thought wearing a dead cow and a jumper made me edgy." He kissed her forehead back, but then stepped away to look her in the face. "But even if you don't remember that Rose, it isn't something I could ever forget. I don't know why you made that choice, you never stopped to tell me. You were halfway down his throat and didn't even notice I walked away. And I am NOT like this with River, thank you very much!" If this was all real and a past face of his was hurting River there would be words. Not enough words to create a paradox, over a pair of docs, he hoped. But words. Then he'd take River out for a proper date to remind her that she got the best looking face, thank you very much.
"And how do you think the timelines can go on, if we just stay here, Rose? Have you met Donna yet? All you did with Donna, all you saw in a universe without me. I made myself too big, too loud, too noisy. I get that now, I do. But all that still had to happen. The bad with the good. You're the one that drilled that into our thick heads, you know."
Does Rose know why he has this face? Why he is this man he is now? How much she broke both his hearts choosing the human him, even if he'd as good as told her to? That she chose that to be the first last and only time she ever did what he said? How much he ran after that, trying to escape the emptiness inside him, flying alone in the Tardis? She didn't know any of it. The Master coming back, unless he told her of course. Would explain some of what she said. But...
But Rose left him. Would he have done what he did on Mars if she'd been there? Would she have made him help from the start? Or would she be the reason he left before he could make a mess of things? Would he have left Christina De Souza or would she have come with them for a time?He didn't doubt for a second that he'd help wilf again. Rose there or not, he would save Donna's grandfather, his friend. But would he have hesitated as he did, if Rose were there? He didn't like who he'd been after Rose left.
When she was gone, when she was trapped... there was a part of him still trying to live up to how she saw him, to be HER Doctor. When she came back, it was like one of his hearts had been returned to him. And then she left. Not like Martha who made him keep a phone and called him when she wanted to. Rose picked a Doctor, and it wasn't him.
Even here, it wasn't him. Because whoever that man was she married? That wasn't the man who watched Rose walk away. The man who took a young face and crashed into Amelia Pond's garden box to fix a crack in her wall.
Guilt. That was what Rose Tyler was now. Here and there, she chose someone else. And he had to stop letting that hurt him. Not sure how, yet. But he had to.