every time a bell rings, the Kindom gets a heart

[doorwasopen]

over9000dads: "I don't know if this was ever explained somewhere and I just missed it, but what exactly is the nature of Kingdom Hearts? It's played up to be this big, important...thing, but what is it?

◦ It's afterlife. For hearts. Also, full of The Force.
According to 358/2, it's where hearts go after Heartless are seized by the Keyblade. So, afterlife for hearts, yeah.
◦ It's whatever the plot currently needs it to be.
◦ It's the title of the series."

a sick sight: LOL the last one
a sick sight: yeah basically
over9000dads: The last one makes the most sense
theluminoleffect: it's the thing you scream when you die if you are an org member
a sick sight: i think nomura just pulled it out of a "words that make cool titles" hat
a sick sight: and then eventually decided that it should mean something
theluminoleffect: lmao
a sick sight: but couldnt come up with anything really
over9000dads: *cracks up*
Reverie Wulfram: ...
Reverie Wulfram: I'm going to say
theluminoleffect: man I never am going to finish tags if I stay in chat
a sick sight: eventually a retcon game will be released called
Reverie Wulfram: title of the series.
a sick sight: "Kingdom Hearts: Kingdom Hearts"
Reverie Wulfram: LOL
theluminoleffect: fffffffffffffffff
Reverie Wulfram: No no.
Reverie Wulfram: Renee.
Reverie Wulfram: It'll be
a sick sight: and itll be about kingdom hearts
over9000dads: *laughs*
Aircommanderp: KINGDOM HEARTS IS PEOPLE
Reverie Wulfram: Kingdom Hearts: KINGDOM HEEEEAAARRRTTTSSS!
theluminoleffect: Kingdom Hearts : Hearts Kingdom
over9000dads: Om nom nom
Reverie Wulfram: lkfxgjkdcgbkj

And then it just got ridiculous:

a sick sight: KINGDOM HEARTS WAS PHONE
Reverie Wulfram: That'll be its tagline.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is your father.
MMKIII: XD
Reverie Wulfram: It also fucked your mother.
a sick sight: KINGDOM HEARTS WAS THE OUTSIDERS
Reverie Wulfram: And now it's here to fuck us.
theluminoleffect: Kingdom Hearts shot J.R.
Reverie Wulfram: /puts on Spy mask
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is also Keyser Soze.
theluminoleffect: fffff
a sick sight: KINGDOM HEARTS WAS HIS SLED
theluminoleffect: lashdfhlg
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts put Brad Pitts' wife's head inside of a box.
Reverie Wulfram: WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
theluminoleffect: Kingdom hearts killed Billy Mayes
Reverie Wulfram: WHAT'S IN THE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is in the box
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts was a ghost the whole time.
MMKIII: XD;
a sick sight: kingdom hearts killed dumbledore
MMKIII: Oh you guys.
MMKIII: XD
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is what happened to Baby Jane.
Reverie Wulfram: kjhfgd
theluminoleffect: Kingdom Hearts put baby in the corner
Reverie Wulfram: Kingdom? In my Hearts?
Reverie Wulfram: It's more likely than you think.
theluminoleffect: /what are we doing
a sick sight: kingdom hearts set up bonnie and clyde
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is what happened to Virginia Woolf.
Reverie Wulfram: We're meming it up.
crawfordsands: Kingdom Hearts sent us up the bomb
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts has always depended on the kindness of strangers.
a sick sight: all your hearts are belong to kingdom
theluminoleffect: renee wins
Reverie Wulfram: Kingdom Hearts is no stranger to love.
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts is your father.
MMKIII: *dies so much*
Reverie Wulfram: LOL
Reverie Wulfram: NO THAT'S NOT TRUE.
crawfordsands: Kingdom Hearts invented the internet
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts was dead the whole time.
Reverie Wulfram: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
Reverie Wulfram: Search your HEART.
Reverie Wulfram: You know it to be true.
a sick sight: skjfnsdnfkjsd
theluminoleffect: Auria, allison said those already
auriatetsukai: Oh, fuck.
theluminoleffect: Both of those
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts likes mudkips.
auriatetsukai: What about Kingdom Hearts is really a man?
over9000dads: Sorry Auria
theluminoleffect: Auria, -2 points
over9000dads: Nope haven't said that one
theluminoleffect: out of 100.
theluminoleffect: OUTOFHOWMANY
theluminoleffect: AHHH
a sick sight: the narrator is also kingdom hearts
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts killed Buffalo Bill.
MMKIII: ....
over9000dads: It is also like a box of chocolates.
auriatetsukai: Run, Kingdom Hearts, run!
MMKIII: Pffff
theluminoleffect: His name was Kingdom Hearts
over9000dads: My momma said so.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts was having sex with its own daughter.
auriatetsukai: ffffff "How do we access it", in--
Reverie Wulfram: They say that when you die, you see Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: ALLISON
auriatetsukai: WHAT THE SHIT
crawfordsands: I saw Kingdom Hearts kissing Santa Claus
auriatetsukai: WHAT THE ASSING FUCK WAS THAT
a sick sight: and i will strike upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my hearts

crawfordsands: KINGDOM HEARTS IS A LIE
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts was all a dream.
auriatetsukai: Turn around, Kingdom Hearts. Every now and then I fall apart.
crawfordsands: The Auria rear ends someone
crawfordsands: Then
auriatetsukai: My car hates Toyotas.

theluminoleffect: oh man this one is terrible okay guys don't kill me
theluminoleffect: ):
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts could have been somebody. It could have been a contender.
auriatetsukai: Oh no.
Reverie Wulfram: DO IT.
auriatetsukai: Jean
theluminoleffect: "You're ..." "Say it." "...kingdom hearts."

auriatetsukai: Please don't be about the Holocaust
a sick sight: lksmdlfk
over9000dads: HAHAHAHA
theluminoleffect: no it's worse
Reverie Wulfram: kjgfhfk LOL
theluminoleffect: wait
Reverie Wulfram: Jean ilu.
auriatetsukai: Jean I love you.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts' mother is actually its other personality
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts will shoot your eye out, kid.
auriatetsukai: Beam me up, Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is serious. And don't call it Shirley.
Reverie Wulfram: First rule of Kingdom Hearts is: You do not talk about Kingdom Hearts.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is actually earth in the future
theluminoleffect: auria
MMKIII: ...oh goodness XD
theluminoleffect: that's what Xemnas said to Kingdom Hearts
auriatetsukai: fffffff
MMKIII: *fallsover*
auriatetsukai: OH WAIT
auriatetsukai: SHIT
Reverie Wulfram: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
over9000dads: There's no crying in Kingdom Hearts
auriatetsukai: I WONDER IF I CAN STILL FIND THAT FIC
theluminoleffect: NO I WON'T READ IT
theluminoleffect: I refuse to read KH fic.
auriatetsukai: It's a parody, Jean.
a sick sight: don't pay attention to the hearts behind the kingdom
MMKIII: pfff
MMKIII: XD
theluminoleffect: after I read Those Lacking Spines, I declared it the best thing to happen to KH fiction and left it at that
auriatetsukai: A very short parody in which Xemnas has sex with Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: The Kingdom Hearts is wrong, bitch.
Reverie Wulfram: Hey guys.
MMKIII: WHAT
Reverie Wulfram: My Kingdom Hearts made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father.
MMKIII: LOL
over9000dads: *cracks up*
auriatetsukai: My name is Kingdom Hearts. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
MMKIII: XD
Reverie Wulfram: /dies
over9000dads: My Kingdom Hearts will go on.
theluminoleffect: oh god
auriatetsukai: AND
auriatetsukai: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
MMKIII: ROFL
over9000dads: If you build Kingdom Hearts, they will come.
theluminoleffect: dsyjsdgf
Reverie Wulfram: "Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! --tear up the planks! here, here! --It is the beating of his hideous Kingdom Hearts!"
theluminoleffect: APPROPRIATE
auriatetsukai: REV ILU
over9000dads: HAHA yes
MMKIII: Awesome
MMKIII: Oh man.
Reverie Wulfram: /wins
over9000dads: Quit playing games with my Kingdom Hearts
Reverie Wulfram: kjgfhkjfg
auriatetsukai: ................Allison
MMKIII: XD
theluminoleffect: don't go breakin' my kingdom hearts
auriatetsukai: I'm going to have that stuck in my head forever.
over9000dads: Good
MMKIII: *diiies*
over9000dads: I hope you have a Kingdom Hearts attack.

a sick sight: kingdom and hearts are both the same person
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts ran over my dog.
over9000dads: Welcome to Kingdom Hearts. (Dinosaur roar)
a sick sight: 2 + 2 = kingdom hearts
auriatetsukai: Indiana Jones and the Last Kingdom Hearts?
MMKIII: ROFL
over9000dads: Open the pod bay doors, Kingdom Hearts.
theluminoleffect: I bet we have said kingdom hearts over 200 times by now
crawfordsands: People shouldn't be afraid of their Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts should be afraid of it's people.
auriatetsukai: I'm afraid I can't do that, Sora.
over9000dads: E.T. phone Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: xD
MMKIII: XD
over9000dads: There are no more wire hangers in Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: How about a magic trick? I'm going to make these hearts...disappear.
crawfordsands: Thank you for flying Kingdom Hearts. Cake or Death?
Reverie Wulfram: TWhen you stare into Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts stares back at you.
crawfordsands: One Kingdom Hearts to rule them all
auriatetsukai: There's no place like Kingdom Hearts.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts never shows up
MMKIII: ...Now I can't concentrate on replying with Xemnas.
MMKIII: orz
auriatetsukai: Aww, MK.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts ate his liver with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti.
MMKIII: *is laughing too much*

over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts ate his liver with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti.
MMKIII: *is laughing too much*
Anryuu Nata: I see Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts is a girl.
MMKIII: PFff
over9000dads: Does Kingdom Hearts like scary movies?
MMKIII: WHY

over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts had me at 'hello'.
crawfordsands: I need your teeth for my Kingdom Hearts Club band, Spencer!
Anryuu Nata: Kingdom Hearts all float down here.
auriatetsukai: dsfksdrfg SARA
over9000dads: I'll have what Kingdom Hearts is having.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is zelda
over9000dads: Frankly, my Kingdom, I don't give a heart.
crawfordsands: Kingdom Hearts is people!
Reverie Wulfram: "Yeah yeah, Kingdom and Hearts. Kingdom and Hearts. I only keep pets I can eat."
auriatetsukai: xDDDDD
over9000dads: >[
Reverie Wulfram: ;D
a sick sight: feed me a stray heart
over9000dads: I wish I knew how to quit Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
auriatetsukai: RENEE NOOOOOOOOO
a sick sight: too late
Anryuu Nata: It's fun watching MK gasp here.
auriatetsukai: /COWERS
MMKIII: *breathes again*
Reverie Wulfram: I CAN'T CONTROL MY KINGDOM HEARTS.
MMKIII: djflg;lh
Anryuu Nata: I see your Kingdom Hearts is bigger than mine.
MMKIII: *fallsover*
over9000dads: You can't handle the Kingdom Hearts
auriatetsukai: As big as, Aya.
auriatetsukai: As big as.
Reverie Wulfram: I'll never stop, Kingdom Hearts. I'll never stop.
auriatetsukai: I HATE THIS KINGDOM HEARTS. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN.
MMKIII: What is th
crawfordsands: Don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, "Kingdom Hearts," It's....it's a cookbook!
MMKIII: wha
MMKIII: XD;
over9000dads: What we've got here, Kingdom, is a failure to gather more hearts.
a sick sight: raiden is the main character in kingdom hearts 2
crawfordsands: I can't believe it's not Kingdom Hearts
over9000dads: The greatest trick that Kingdom Hearts ever pulled was convincing the world it didn't exist.
Reverie Wulfram: "What happened to us? What happened to Kingdom Hearts?"
"'What happened to Kingdom Hearts?' It came true! You're lookin' at it..."
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts; shaken, not stirred.
auriatetsukai: Hearts. Kingdom Hearts.
Reverie Wulfram: GET DOWN.
over9000dads: I feel the need. The need for Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: You know what they call a quarter-pounder in France? Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: YURERU MAWARU FURERU SETSUNAI KIMOCHI--
auriatetsukai: ...rev I hate you
Reverie Wulfram: This is not for Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts knows kung-fu.
crawfordsands: A flipped fork flicked my Kingdom Hearts
a sick sight: kjmnjref
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts hates snakes. It hates 'em.
a sick sight: LOL allison
auriatetsukai: Never go against Kingdom Hearts when DEATH is on the line!
a sick sight: kingdom hearts kills itself at the end
Reverie Wulfram: jgfhkf Sara I see what you did there
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts was the killer all along.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts killed his wife
auriatetsukai: Renee that's
auriatetsukai: terrible
over9000dads: I used to fuck guys like Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: In prison.
a sick sight: well he did
over9000dads: Kingdom Hear-SQUIRREL.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts lost both world wars
auriatetsukai: sdlksjedrf
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is my penis.
a sick sight: LOL
Reverie Wulfram: One does not simply ROCK into Kingdom Hearts.
auriatetsukai: Okay, stop right there.
auriatetsukai: Allison wins.
auriatetsukai: Time to go home.
crawfordsands: No. No she doesn't.
over9000dads: D: Aw, it's over?
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is the rail tracer
a sick sight: >:
Reverie Wulfram: kjfdghkdjf
Reverie Wulfram: RAIL TRACAAAAA.
over9000dads: I shall call him Kingdom Hearts and he shall be my friend.
MMKIII: I got a fever. And the only prescription...is more KINGDOM HEARTS!
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts loves the smell of napalm in the morning.
Reverie Wulfram: I see Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is coming to get you, Barbara.

over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts hates bees and punches women while wearing a bear suit.
a sick sight: gentlemen, i love kingdom hearts
a sick sight: fyi i am kingdom hearts
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts never gave me gifts, y'know? It was too busy being raped by Cossacks.
Reverie Wulfram: You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the Kingdom Hearts.
over9000dads: Goonies never say Kingdom Hearts
auriatetsukai: Kingdom Hearts tastes better with Cool Whip.

a sick sight: have the hearts stopped screaming?

over9000dads: Follow Kingdom Hearts or perish, sweater-monkeys
over9000dads: Damn it, Jim, I'm a Heartless, not a Kingdom.
auriatetsukai: Give me Kingdom Hearts, or give me death!
Reverie Wulfram: THIS IS MURDER. MURDER. YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY. AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR NOTHING. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN KINGDOM HEARTS.
theluminoleffect: oh my god you gguys are still going on about it
over9000dads: Beautiful, naked, big-titted hearts just don't fall out of the kingdom, y'know.
Reverie Wulfram: Always, Jean.
theluminoleffect: I left for like 15 minutes
Reverie Wulfram: Whoa, you were almost a Kingdom Hearts sandwich!
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is alanis morissette
theluminoleffect: /leaves again
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts was trapped in the jungle for 26 years
a sick sight: KINGDOM HEARTS EXISTS TO BE EATEN
Reverie Wulfram: In my restless dreams, I see that town... Kingdom Hearts.
MMKIII: XD
a sick sight: DON'T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE YOU DID WITH THAT KINGDOM HEARTS
a sick sight: jill says to nomura
a sick sight: /oh snap
MMKIII: pff
a sick sight: it looks like it was killed by a kingdom hearts or something
Reverie Wulfram: There's no place like Kingdom Hearts. There's no place like Kingdom Hearts...

over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts reminds me of the babe.
Reverie Wulfram: What babe?
a sick sight: THEY'RE NOBODIES NOBODIES BARELY EVEN HUMAN
over9000dads: Babe with the power
Reverie Wulfram: What power?
a sick sight: NOBODIES NOBODIES DRIVE THEM FROM OUR SHORES
over9000dads: Power of retcon.
a sick sight: THEY'RE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME
auriatetsukai: RENEE
Reverie Wulfram: Who do?
a sick sight: WHICH MEANS THEY MUST BE EVIL
over9000dads: Retcon. >[
Reverie Wulfram: Wait. Shit.
a sick sight: WE MUST SOUND THE DRUMS OF WAAAAAAR
over9000dads: It's okay, retcon it.
Reverie Wulfram: /RETCONS
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts has got red on it.
Reverie Wulfram: DO WHAT?
Reverie Wulfram: Ffff.
a sick sight: /explains plot of kh2 in song
over9000dads: Remind me of the babe

auriatetsukai: In DISNEY song, no less.
auriatetsukai: How fitting.
over9000dads: The power of Kingdom Hearts is no match for a good blaster at your side.
a sick sight: hellllls yeah
a sick sight: These are not the Kingdom Hearts you're looking for.
Reverie Wulfram: "This is madness!"
Reverie Wulfram: "Madness?"
Reverie Wulfram: "THIS. IS. KINGDOM HEARTS."
MMKIII: XD
a sick sight: the heart is in another kingdom
over9000dads: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is Kingdom Hearts!
a sick sight: LOL allison
auriatetsukai: ...oh.
Reverie Wulfram: kjgfhf
auriatetsukai: So there goes Amanda.
theluminoleffect: pff allison i have those as my keywordssss
theluminoleffect: except.
over9000dads: Hahaa
theluminoleffect: not with Kingdom Hearts in it ):
a sick sight: everyone who watches kingdom hearts dies in seven days
over9000dads: Well then it's incomplete
theluminoleffect: ....lol
over9000dads: Why didn't someone ever tell Kingdom Hearts its ass was so big?
Reverie Wulfram: Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand retcons and compositions and things with... Kingdom Hearts.
a sick sight: bhjkl
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is going to punch you in the ovaries. That's what it's gonna do.
Reverie Wulfram: Kingdom Hearts is also my boomstick.
over9000dads: Straight shot. Right to the babymaker
over9000dads: Ray, if someone asks you if you are Kingdom Hearts, you say YES
a sick sight: kingdom, you fat lard, come get some HEARTS
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts is INCONCEIVABLE
over9000dads: Kingdom Hearts was born a poor, black child.
a sick sight: kingdom hearts is a galerian
Reverie Wulfram: B|
a sick sight: well it is

Yeah there was more but I am not even going to post all that crap, jesus.

tl;dr chat pretty much went on about Kingdom Hearts puns and gags for almost an hour.