gotosleep_idiot | September & October Test Drive

"And yet somehow we do." Because Markus knows that he does. He has wants. He knows that other androids have wants, too, and he knows that Connor is one of them. There's been too many slips for him to not have wants, or free will. The denial is just too strong.

The next part, though, that has him faltering. Other A.I.s here? And ones that aren't from their world, so there's the added bonus of being artificial life of other life, in that regard. Though, Markus supposes, just because they're not from their world doesn't make them alien, because this place, Nautilus, just messes things up when it comes to what's alien and what's not.

"You're not supposed to do anything about them that you don't want to do." He gave a little shrug. "Do they bother you?" He had to wonder if, because they don't have the same hardware or software, that meant they couldn't have some of the same, what others saw, as flaws in their systems.

"The only thing I want is to accomplish my mission," Connor insisted. Fiona gives Markus a look like she's on The Office. Because she also knows that's a lie.

"I don't have a precedent to act on. Acting without one is only going to cause trouble without knowing if there's even a point." Especially if there's a chance he can't even bring the information back. It'd just make enemies and make people not trust him when it'd br inconvenient.

"Kitt is sensible." He believes in programming and purpose even if his body is weird and his opinions on music is...odd. He may have been disappointed he didn't show up for the club. "Clu understands the difficulties of being programming and in this place, but he would be classified deviant as a Cyberlife android. As it is, he seems to be more a lab accident kind of scenario."

Markus exchanged a look with Fiona, and once again... no, you know what, no, not going to think of the weirdness of this. Not going to think about that. But at least he wasn't the only person in this weird little threesome to know that Connor was lying his ass off. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just stop lying, to yourself and to others? Markus thought so.

"You know how they say that third time is the charm? If saying something doesn't make it true by the tenth or twelfth time, you might have a problem." Says lightly, glancing at Fiona again and shrugging. What could he do?

Kitt and Clu. Markus saved those names and filed them away for later, much like he had with most of the information he'd received so far. Something he would have to look up when he had a moment alone. Connor had to leave him alone eventually, even if they were living in the same place.

"I'm assuming I'll eventually meet them and be able to make my own determinations about how alike and not alike they are from us." Putting his hands back into his pockets, he glanced around, checking to see what the area they were in currently looked like. "I wonder if this place only picks people it sees as different, to come here."

Fiona certainly agreed with Markus. She didn't understand why he lied to himself. It just seemed to make him miserable and she hated it.

"Its always been true," Connir said. At least he did want to accomplish hus mission. It just being the sole thing is really not true. But it should be true and he refused to just give in because he kind of liked what he was hearing. Because he's liked it for months. Because if it was true, it meant otger things were true he didn't want to be true.

"Kitt is in a car and Clu was apparently just in cyberspace before here," Conmor said. Which was kind of weird. Though at the comment of selection, Connor hesitates. He knows what Nautilus is after and he hates it, but to seem like he's hiding something is more suspicious than blunt. "The point is change," Connor said. "To ascend means changing enough for it and ascension seems to be the goal. Of course, in any endeavor, people make mistakes."

It's almost like he wants to be miserable, though that can't be true. Markus has felt miserable before, and the feeling is just as it says on the tin. No one wants to be like that, at least, he assumes no one would want to be dealing with that feeling for very long. So why does Connor keep pushing himself into it?

"You're all over the place in your argument, though. I'm sure it's true, but it's not the only thing that's true. And the person you're lying to about it isn't really me. You're lying to yourself about it, just by saying it." Markus shrugged again. Maybe if he did that enough times, he could pretend that this wasn't affecting him as much as it might be affecting Connor.

Because it was. He wanted to just shake him, wanted to tell him to stop doing this to himself, to stop lying. He wanted to make Connor listen to him, really listen, but he knew that he wasn't going to get through to him today. If everything he'd said so far didn't get through to him now, well.

There was tomorrow. And the next day. And however long they were going to be here.

"You think this place made a mistake in having us come here?" Markus didn't think that, but he could see how Connor did.

"There is no reason to lie to myself," Connor said. And if he keeps telling himself that, he can pretend he's not miserable. Instead of definitely being miserable. Admitting the truth wouldn't really set him free of that. After all, he's made to protect peopke. Its a purpose he wants to fulfill. The thought of killing innocents, even indirectly is...

Its too much.

But everyday, he cracks a little more. Even if he's not fully aware of it.

"That's correct. Androids can't really cha-"

And then he's gone.

And to the left was a river that crossed the East and they had finally wandered close to. The same moment Connor vanished, there was a loud splash. Because now Nautilus could make its point without seperating Connor from a destabilizing factor.

A moment later, Connor and Fiona are breaking the surface and Connor looks extremely unsurprised and unimpressed as he pulls himself from the river.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Markus can take the coming to a different world, and meeting someone he knows. He can take a giant monster fish who he's communicated with extremely well. He can even take all of the bullshit that Connor has been spewing for the past however long it's been, and he's been able to handle all of this fairly well in his opinion.

This, though? This sudden disappearing act, where he was talking to the man and then not even a second later he's gone, this is just a little too much for him to handle. Markus just stays where he is for a bit, staring at the spot where Connor had been standing, then slowly looking over to where the splash came from. Even slower, he starts to make his way towards the bank of the river.

Once he gets there and sees that both Connor and Fiona seem to be okay, he takes a seat on the ground. Markus doesn't know if he wants to laugh or just stop moving completely. This part is too much. People don't just disappear like that, not unless there is something very, very wrong.

"What just happened?" Asks when Connor gets back to him. "You didn't have that ability before you came here, right?" That wasn't some kind of new Cyberlife function, just to be clear.

Connor pulls himself onto the bank and when he sees Markus sit down, he just sighs and lets himself flop back onto the ground. Because he honestly understands. It was the same for him the first time it happened. He had to just sit and process tge insanity he walked into.

"No," he said. He gestures to the river. "This is called the De Nile River. Its a pun Nautilus likes to use to make a point instead of just talking. If I could hate, I would hate this river," Connor said. Because this is not the first time he's been throw into the river. Its not the first time by far

But hey, at least he almost admitted to a feeling.

Thank you, Connor, for sitting back down with him. Markus needs this time to process all of that, and doing it sitting down means it doesn't look as weird as him not doing a single thing standing up. Markus leans forward, hands on his knees.

"When your denial gets to a certain point, this world throws you into a pun named river to make that point?" And hey, he admitted a feeling! That's a good step, even if it came at the cost of.. whatever all this really was.

Markus looked at Connor steadily, blue and green eyes wide. For a moment, he felt a little guilty. Here he had been pushing Connor, and then this thing happened that he hated, was it because of him?

No. No, it was Connor's fault for being in so much denial. Not his for pressing him when he needed to be pressed. He wouldn't feel guilty for that. It's what needed to be done.

"Maybe you shouldn't do what's putting you in the river, anymore." He sounds distracted because he is, still trying process all of this.

Connor needs to dry out anyway. Better to do at keast some if it kaying on a river bank versus walking through the city. Chances are Miguel will see and then he'd have to explain and then Miguel will either ask uncomfortable questions or get confused and uncomfortable when he puts the pieces together and he just likes to avoud that.

"I was honestly surprised our conversation didn't get interrupted at the restaurant," Connor said. He had been waiting for a sudden scene change and he's not sure he trusts why it didn't happen.

"But Nautilus is especially insistent when I try to say he made a mistake" Connor said and frowned at the sky. "If he wants me to consider his opinion, he should use his words. Not repeatedly soaking me." And its that stubborn streak that gets him dumped repeatedly.

If Connor had suddenly disappeared at the restaurant, things would have probably been even more tense between them. As is, Markus doesn't feel that tense around him now. More wary, after this, but not tense.

No, he's just concerned about this happening again. "Knowing what I do now, I'm surprised about that, too." Markus nodded, looking out over the river and away from Connor, who, let's be honest, looks a little like a drowned rat right now.

"Maybe he thinks this is a case of 'monkey see, monkey don't do'. If he dunks you in the river enough times, you'll stop questioning him and learn to accept the way things are." Because that made sense. No, really, it did make some sense, but it was still crazy. And being so stubborn has got to make it even crazier.

A little bit, but at least Fiona looks content to be in the water.

"Unfortunately for him, I'm in no way related to apes," Connor said. Because of course that's the point and not him being petulant. Connor sighs again, taking off his jacket to shake and squeeze water out of the material because he'd like to eventually be dry. "I'm not going to change my mind just because of negative reinforcement. That's conditioning, not an actual reason to change."

Too bad he doesn't realize Amanda is very much conditioning herself.

At least one of the three of them seemed to be doing all right with all of this. Fiona looked more fish like, less monster fish like when she was in the water, and Markus was glad for her. Something good came of this, in a way?

Markus looked away from the form of Fiona swimming to look back to Connor at the ape comment. "It's a phrase, not a suggestion." Still, that got him to smile, just a tiny one, but still. It was better then the lost he was feeling better.

"I thought androids couldn't change?" Said so snarkily, but Markus couldn't help it.

"I suppose sarcasm is still uncharted territory for my social relations programming," Connor said. Because he can't just say it was a bitter joke. Clearly just him adapting important programming.

"They don't," he said. "Don-"

And jacket on the bank and Connor just got pulled under again.

And he's pulling himself back out fifteen seconds later. "As I was saying. It's a flawed method regardless. You can condition most any living creature to give a response to certain things, it doesn't make them a good response. A dog might think they're going to get a treat when the bell rings, but it doesn't mean they definitely will."

For just that, that he blamed his programming for it, Markus doesn't even have a problem that he gets dunked again. And that he forced it to happen. By saying a certain something, and then forcing it to happen, that's not his fault.

Yes? Yes. What he does do, though, is laugh out loud at it, because just the look on his face as he comes back, dripping wet. Markus will have stopped chuckling by the time Connor comes back, though.

"Are you fighting the method, or the outcome, in this instance?" Markus leaned forward. "Either way, the odds are stacked against you until you start accepting the truth about your situation in being here."

Thankfully, or luckily... thankfully, Markus was accepting of this place and why he was here. To a limit, but more then Connor clearly wasn't.

Connor just gives Markus an unimpressed look at the laughing, but makes no comment.

Fiona may be giggling in the water though.

Connor lays out his jacket to the side and tries to at least wipe some of the water off, pressing clothes to his skin and shaking the excess off his hands.

"The method is outdated and more akin to brainwashing," Connor said. "And if we're talking outcome, I'm pretty sure the threat of decommissioning far outweighs getting wet for conditioning factors."

"I'm going to find a way home. One way or another. There's no point to my being here. Even anything I learn of deviants from you might be pointless," he said. "It's just better than literally nothing."

He stopped the laughing! After a moment of it, anyway, but he did stop. It just kind of burst out of him before, almost in a relief, really. If you could laugh about something, then things might not be as bad as they seem.

"Here, to help." Still, he did feel a little bad after that, watching Connor try to get dry again. With a sigh, Markus took off his own jacket and tossed it over to Connor. He could use it to help pat himself dry, if he wanted to.

This was as close as he would get to Connor, for now. Markus was too worried about converting him to actually touch him, now, unsure if he could still do that here or not.

"I can understand that. I might not be the best source of information you could find on the subject, who knows?" He shrugged. "I'm going to help. I need to get home, too. There's a lot of work still to be done."

Connor actually jumps as he feels the jacket hit him. He looked at it, an utterly lost look of confusion on his face as he stared at it, LED flickering yellow. It's....a kindness. Which he's been kind of getting used to. But usually it's quick and fast and people are moving on. Not from someone who has every reason to not show him any kindness.

His hands reach for the jacket, hesitates, grabbing the edge, then letting it go, and grabbing it again because he knows he should get dry, but he also shouldn't be a burden on people, but this isn't a person, it's Markus, but Markus shouldn't be showing him kindness and-

He's kind of stuck on computer processing on what to do with the jacket.

"You're a RK model. If I was ever going to understand a deviant, it would be easiest to see what's wrong with your programming compared to others," he said, eyes still staring at the jacket. "You do realize someone's going to kill you, right? No matter how any of it plays out, there are always going to be people after you."

Honestly, Markus didn't think the jacket would be that big of a deal. He thought he'd use logic and reasoning and whatever else was needed, to just use the jacket for the offering it was, and then move on from it.

He'd be only a machine to have to ignore the warmth that seemed to spread through him at knowing that this was another thing to give Connor pause. To him, giving kindness to another android, to another person, was just something he was always going to do.

Still, those words gave him pause, and he breathed in deep. He could feel his thirium pump pound a little faster when he thought about his own death, and he wished... he wished that things could be different. But he'd chosen this.

"I know." Says softly, one hand flat on the ground, the sensors in his palms letting him feel how soft the grass was. "I know that all of this, every option, ends in my death. But it's all to help our people, that's what I tell myself." Markus looked out at the water, at Fiona swimming, at how beautiful this all really was.

"I don't want to die. But if this revolution requires my sacrifice, then I'm ready to give it." This was the first time he'd said those words out loud, and they're said reverently. That's just the way things had to go. He's already tried it, but people keep stopping him from actually dying.

Kindness was still an oddity. Even in this place full of kind people, most cane in the form of information, helping with Miguel, or telling him he was a person. Things that were necessary, not for him, or dismissed for fear of person. Kindness for kindness sake was rarer. Something he never had back home save with Hank.

He didn't need to be dry. He just preferred it. The jacket didn't need to be soaked too.

Connor gripped the edge of the jacket. Skin pulling back from his fingers, scanning and analyzing data to combat the crawling feeling of....sonething inside him as he spoke. Another form of fidgeting.

"Even if the revolution succeeded, as unlikely as it is, you would still have a target. The police, the FBI, me, crazed and bitter fanatics. For the rest of your existence, someone is going to be trying to kill you," he said, voice...distant. Quiet. "People are so violent to what are essentially appliances already. That won't just go away."

"So I need to be at double the high alert, because people who already hate androids-- not appliances, by the way, I should add--- who now also hate me are really coming after me?" Markus tilted his head slightly, looking at Connor for a moment before looking back out at the water.

"If you're trying to warn me, you're already too late. I've known for some time now that everyone who's anyone is coming after me. All of us, but me especially." He gave a little shrug. "I just... have to accept it. That this is how it always will be." Things could be worse, though. He was running this revolution the way he wanted to, the way it should be done, because he knew that this was, in a way, his legacy. His way of living on if something were to happen to him.

What was it he'd said before, when the time came to it? "An eye for an eye and the world goes blind." Markus said softly, fingers digging into the earth. "I'll let myself fall for them all, if that was the best way to make this revolution succeed. But so long as I'm around, now, I can make it this peaceful revolution continues as it should."

"Hating a group means they're firing blind if they decide to act. You have a bright red target painted on your back," Connor said, shrugging his shoulders. "But you also have what you're threatening. Power, order, human lives. There's no way for this to be completely bloodless."

Connor toyed with the edge of the jacket. He should use it to dry himself properly. It was already just soaking in water anyway, all he's doing is being inefficient about it all.

"But at this stage, you could just disappear. Scatter everyone to the winds and walk away and live your own life. It wouldn't be particularly hard to make your own identity, the systems aren't nearly as secure as the government likes to think," he said. He's not even sure why he's saying this. For a reaction? Another way to stop the revolution?

He's....not actually sure.

That caused him to pause and then look at Connor fully. Was he hearing him right? He wanted him to... was he hearing him right, on that one? Because it sounded like Connor was telling him to run. And granted, Markus had thought about it, at one point. All androids did, it seemed, once they woke up in their own way. Run like hell and get away from everything that could hurt you.

But that's what he'd found Jericho for. He'd thought it would be that place to go, to live his own life among his people, without fear. After a moment, Markus sighed softly.

"It's too late to do something like that. And even if I could... I wouldn't." He shook his head. "I've already lost everything once. I'm not going to do that again, and I'm not going to do that to anyone, either. This is greater then one person. What we're doing is greater then me. It's worth more then me. I'm not going to cut and run."

Connor falls silent at that. He's not sure what he expected. What he...wanted? Maybe that was it. Maybe he wanted to run. Run as far and as fast as he could from making choices he's not entirely sure he wants to be making anymore. There wouldn't be anywhere farther than here, where he doesn't even have Amanda in his mind.

But...people would get hurt. People would die.

Kamski called it a choice between two evils. It was never a choice like that. It was a choice about lives. It was always about lives.

He sighed and looked out over the water, watching Fiona swim along, enjoying a swim in new water. "Did you get to the part about bending in the guide?" He asked.

"I forgot about the guide." Not that he really forgot, it was just put down lower on his priorities. You know, between all the disappearing and giant fish and wondering more about this world, Markus is surprised that he could even bring up the thought about reading the guide.

"Bending is the creation of items here, right?" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the smart phone that had appeared with him, and he went looking for the guide again. This was better, he was glad for the change in conversation.

Talking about your own possible death was... disheartening.

no subject

no subject

I've watched so much of The Office that I know exactly what look that is.

There really is no better way to describe that look honestly

That is very true. It's such a distinct look.

The perfect mix of put upon and soul leaving one's body

Ugh, I love that show. I need to do a millionth rewatch sometime soon.

I've only seen a few episodes, but it is very funny.

It's so good. It always hits the right spot when you're in a binge watching mood.

I'll put it on my list. =O

Do it yesssss :3

no subject

I had this written out twice already, my browser kept crashing, driving me insane ><

Uuuugh, that's always the worst.

I just wanted it to post *sob* Also sorry but not sorry about the double dunk Connor >.>

He really brings it on to himself.

He does. That's why he didn't feel bad this time.

Connor is a stubborn dumb, never feel bad for his own denial, Markus

Markus has the whole Robo Jesus thing going on. He's gonna feel a little bad, it's how he rolls.

Markus pls.

He's doing it lalalalalalalala

MARKUS PLS.

LALALALALALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU

MARKUS THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WORRY

LET HIM FEEL GUILTY FOR LIFE IT'S COOL

I just wanted it to post sob Also sorry but not sorry about the double dunk Connor >.>