gotosleep_idiot | May & June Test Drive

"What?" Rose just looked baffled. Because she was, truly.

"You can't blow up the TARDIS," she scoffed quietly, a little amused by the idea. "Trust me, stronger forces have tried." Zagreus is in your -- stop that! She mentally yelled at herself.

"Sorry, I must have stumbled on something. Cybermen is a -- CLEARLY you know what they are. But all the rest, I don't know what you're talking about. I just meant, it's a catch, yeah? First it's like "Oh we'll upgrade your phone for free" and then it's 'and your body' and then it robs you of your free will. Nautilus is... totally the opposite, I promise." She made a giant X with her arms. "Noooooo cyberman here. I don't think they could come without a soul, or at least the ability to change their minds. And that's kind of... not how cybermen work, yeah?" A head tilt. "Sorry, I've upset you. Didn't mean to do that. Here, the only catch to being here is that you've been called to wake, but you can't change your timeline or you'll cause flaws, and it can be really devastating to find friends you'll never see again outside of here, only to lose them again here. That's it. That's the only catch."

Another head tilt. "And besides that, there's always hope, yeah? This place... has a lot of hope."

"Hope. that's what he said, at the end. Where there are tears there's hope. But something messed up somewhere." She shook her head, then stopped, forced herself to stop moving at all. "When you see me, what do you see? Honest now, please, don't try and spare my feelings or nothing. I know what I looked like then. I need to know if I look like that now."

Rose pulled up a mirror.

"You're a cute girl, remind me a little of my ex boyfriend Mickey Smith, more than Martha Jones, I think it's the attitude." A pause and a firm nod. "Definitely. You're not into videogames and addicted to watching football at the pub, are you?" A wry grin to show she was joking.

Her shoulders settled as relief filled her. The mirror helped. "Right then. I look like me. Well, me before. Long story, might sound a bit crazy, but till about an hour ago, maybe two now? I was a Cyberman. Only sort of not. But everyone afraid of me, things blowing up when I got angry. Bit of a long story but... just glad that being here I didn't become that.. again."

Rose nodded solemnly. "I was one in a glitched timeline. Killed my Mum."

She grabbed a bottle of liquor out of the cabinet, eyed how low it was with a grimace, her kids had been drinking a lot of late, and poured them both some. "Cheers."

A headshake. "Not a cyberman here." And Ianto was gone so she didn't need to warn him or her or-- Another gulp of the whiskey.

"I'm not sure how Nautilus figures out who to bring and what points to bring them from, but I know even a dalek showed up once! Mind, not a regular dalek. One who wanted to destroy all the other daleks. Bit weird. Loved him to pieces. I miss Rogue." A shrug. "Mostly people brought here aren't rampaging psychos. Or yanno, as with the case with Rogue, can sort of control it and channel it to not-all-sentient lifeforms other than themselves."

She eyed the bottle then shook her head. "Nah, not thanks, mate. If I'm really me again, want to feel it for a while. Going to just stick with tea I think. Unless you got chips. Met a Dalek once. Well, a few of them a bit, but only one really. Tried to kill my girlfriend. Then... was my girlfriend for a short while there." She was reconsidering the drink now, actually.

"Yeah, I can make chips," Rose beamed. And then blinked. "Your girlfriend was a dalek?" WELL, there was a first for everything... "This I've gotta hear."

"Used to be a chip girl, back home. Still could be if I want. Not sure. Universe is great and all, but also liked having a part of my life that was just... life. Course that was back when I actually was alive." She shook her head. "And there am I sounding like the Doctor, telling the whole thing wrong way round. Bit of a long story though, not sure you want to hear it all."

"Me too!" beam beam. "For a bit. But I would nevar wanna go back to it!" Rose laughed. "Micks kept sayin' I would get fat if I ate all the chips, and I couldn't really stop myself from tastin' each batch. And I nevar wanted to kick the Doctor as much as when he was makin' leers at my cafeteria uniform while he got to be a teacher." A huff.

"I absolutely want to hear all of it," Rose beamed looking like a pouncing wolf. "And don't you dare leave a single detail out."

"Yeah well, not one to kiss and tell, mate," she said sipping her tea. "So there will be at least a few details left out. I actually got someone fat by accident once, as a chip girl. Blame the Doctor really. Pretty thing. Could been a model. Felt bad after. Took me a while to realize I'd even done it."

A pout.

"Eh, chips are better than being a model anyway. I'm sure she was happier." Rose winked.

A beat. "Wait, how is it the Doctor's fault though?" She believed her, since it usually WAS his fault.

"Well see, she was in one of his classes. I went sometimes back then, back when I thought he was just another bloke. His lectures were interesting. And well, sometimes she'd be on my line talking about his class or reading the assignment. When ever she was, popped in some extra chips on her plate. Never said nothing. Just kind of wanted to see what would happen. She talked about him, extra chips. Kind of became a little game for a while. Went on for ages, her not noticing or nothing, then one day she did notice. She realized I'd been giving her extra chips, and she smiled and thanked me. Which is when I noticed she was fat now. I'd fatted her. But hey, she liked the chips so not all on me, yeah?"

An amused wry grin. "Well, like I said. Chips are better than bein' a model anyway," Rose said as she made up a batch.

"So what's your favorite part of his classes?" Rose laughed and shook her head. "He didn't even really do much teaching here when he was pretendin' to do the 9 to 5 job thing tutoring Adrien. It was mostly just a farce so the kid could go adventurin' despite his Da's iron-fist rules."

"Really? Well he teaches now. Thing is, he almost never keeps to the subject he's meant to be lecturing about. Like this one time, I went to his lecture on crop rotation. Whole thing was about how many ways you can die in space. Even drew a skull on the board and everything."

Rose nodded. "That's a joke, on crop circles. Ever see that movie? Signs?" Rose shrugged. "It's about aliens wanting to kill humans, but being weak to water. Kind of a dumb planet to invade then, yeah?"

"I could just about hug you. I try movie after movie against the Doctor, and you know which one he knows? Only one? Frozen."

Rose laughed quietly. "I'll let you," she promised and shook her head. "He loves Disney. Disney and Muppets. But I made him watch some others with me. Ghostbusters. Pirates of the Caribbean... hang on, is that Disney too? I always get it mixed up from his universe or my Da's. He hates the Harry Potter movies though. Not enough like the books, and he's convinced he looks like Barty Crouch Jr. I don't see it, but he gets super squirrely about it. Oh! I should have said this earlier. That multiverse nexus thing? So Albus Dumbledore is here! Really here. But super young. Like back in his twenties. Way before becoming a teacher and the works. Before he met Fawkes the phoenix too, of course."

"Dumbledore? No way. Okay, kind of loving this place. I mean it. Once Heather shows up, I could happily just stay here. Make this my home. Place to rest between adventures." She leaned back smiling. "And not just for the view." She winked.

"Yeah," Rose beamed, and blushed slightly at the compliment, "Oh! Ta. Tell me about Heather though. I know you said you're not one to kiss and tell, but I'm dyin' of curiosity here, yeah?"

She chuckled and sipped her tea, leaning back. "Well, it started with this puddle, see. Not long after the Doctor started tutoring and get me enrolled proper. There was this cut girl I'd met in the pub a while back but she was sitting on the bench all sad and yeah. Told me about how every place she was, she always wanted to just leave. Then she asked if I wanted to see something. She showed me this weird puddle, looked like it might have been machine oil or something. She told me to look in it, see if I could see what was wrong. Just saw me. Didn't figure it out till later. Well, the Doctor got there first. See, Heather's got this pretty marking in her eye. Like a star. She hates it, I think it makes her stand out. Anyway, that was why she saw it first. That she was seeing not her reflection but her own face. Right way round, like you see mine and I see yours. Anyway, she vanished into the puddle one day. It was some sort of liquid space ship and was looking for a pilot. It picked her, since she wanted to leave. Didn't realize that at first of course. All I know is suddenly this girl I thought was cute and all keeps popping up, soaking wet, wherever I went. Chasing me. That's when I wound up in the Tardis the first time. The Doctor wanted to see how far she could follow us."

She grinned. It was terrifying at first, but kind of funny now. "First she found us in Australia or something, so then the Doctor took us through time to the end of the universe. She found me again. So the Doctor decided to try and destroy a water thing with the hottest fire, as he called it. I thought he was about to fly us into the sun or something. Next thing I know we're on some sort of space ship or station or something. That's where the Daleks were. See, we all thought that something was using her body to try and kill me. But I'd made her promise not to leave without me, and she couldn't communicate well in that form yet. Well, the Doctor got her locked into a room with a Dalek. She survived. The Dalek didn't. She looked just like the Dalek though, cept her star was in the Eyestalk."

"We got her talking a bit, and she became her water self again. She reached for me, and the Doctor was sure she was going to hurt me, but I could sorta tell that wasn't it. So I touched her and... wow. It was like the whole universe opened behind my eyes. It was just a few seconds, but I felt like i was everywhere at once, seeing everything. I let her go. Told her to go, enjoy, be free. She left without me, but when she vanished there were tears in my eyes, on my face. Thing is... weren't mine."

She took a break to sip her tea and see how Rose was taking the story.

"Wow," Rose breathed softly, and took a sip of her tea with a mild headshake. "And I thought fusing my heart with the TARDIS was weird." She grinned softly all the same. "So that's where the tears that were hope came in? You still had the tears later? Guess she waited for you to be ready? That's really sweet. Even if now you're stuck waiting for her."

She winced a bit, taking another sip. "Not quite that simple. See, she was waiting, you were right about that though. But when we got back to Earth? The Doctor wanted to erase my memory. Told me he had a promise to keep and no one could know he was there. Not who really knew anything." she fiddled with her tea cup. "Not too proud to admit I begged, I guess. Might have done anyway. Finally he told me to go before he changed his mind. So I did. Don't think I ran so fast when those Daleks were chasing us. thing is... he still got outside before me. Waiting on the Quad, with the Tardis, and a what the hey. Next thing I know we're on this world full of emjoi robots. Gotta tell you that was a bit of a trip. And was Nardole ever steamed when we got back. On about his promise and the vault the Doctor was supposed to be guarding."

"It was something of a game for a bit, I suppose. Sneaking out under Nardole's nose, or tricking him into coming along for the ride. Never really had much family, but I swear it was like watching siblings bicker. Quite amusing some days, I'd just lean back in the Tardis, sort of enjoy the show. Good fun. Even Nardole after a while. Started getting into it. Course things went a bit down hill after Mars. We got seperated and the Tardis took Nardole back to earth. Nardole couldn't figure out how to get back and well... he opened the vault. Missy came to help." She fiddled with her cup. "Missy once told the Doctor... told him the only way to save the earth was to make me a vegetable. Thing was, at the time? She had me ready to do it. Doctor wouldn't let me though. Whole earth was in trouble because of me, and he wouldn't let me sacrifice myself to save it. Guess that's part of what works. Cause I wouldn't let him do it either."

She shook her head, she was getting off track. "Anyway. Missy started coming along on the adventures. Doctor said he was rehabilitating her. Teaching her to be good or something. I didn't trust it. But..." She shrugged. "Doctor decided to give her a chance. One mission he said. We'd find a distress call, usual saturday as he put it, but this time Missy would be the one in charge and he'd sort of... monitor, yeah? Nardole and I both asked him not to, but he wanted to prove she could be good. Guess I;'m a bit of a spoiler for that, being dead and all. I asked him to promise me she wouldn't get me killed, but here we are."

She leaned back, not wanting to remember, but at the same time needing to say it, needing to put it all into words. "We stepped out of the Tardis onto this huge spaceship. And I mean huge. Hundreds of miles long. Colony ship from a planet called Mondas. And there were these things... would come up the lifts whenever they detected a human. There was this guy on the ship. Not human, demanded to know who the human was, pulled out some sort of raygun or something. Very scifi. Not appreciating that so much as I would have if I'd just seen it on a desk or something. That got the Doctor out right quick though. The guy he demanded to know who the human was, says the things only come up if they detect humans. Waved the gun at all of us. I thought he was going to shoot the Doctor, so I said it was me. Cause, you know, it was. I mean, the Doctor and Missy are Time Lords or whatever. And who even knows what Nardole is. But it was me they wanted. Doctor said he could shield my life signs, hide me on the Tardis. But the guy didn't listen. Next thing I know I've got a hole in my chest."

Bill took several deep breaths. She wasn't even looking at Rose any more. Just at the painful memories. "Next thing I know I've got this thing in my chest. Big metal box under my shirt. I was in some sort of a hospital with a message in my head from the Doctor, telling me to wait for him. And I did. Ten years I waited for him in that hospital. There was this room where the other patients were. Ones worse off than me, and that's saying something given You could have watched telly with me standing in front of the screen and not missed a thing. Constant pain. They all had these bags over their heads and these keypads to communicate. The nurse would come in every so often." She swallowed. "When one of them was crying out that he was in pain or he wanted someone to kill him. The nurse would come in, but instead of giving them meds or anything she'd just mute them. Just turn down the volume."

"There weren't many of us there, except the patients. Me, the nurse, the surgeon, and" she closed her eyes, still seeing that face, hearing that voice. "He called himself Razor. Or Mr. Razor. I used to think he was alright. Lived with him for ten years. He had a screen that let me see the top of the ship. See, the thing was," she fiddled with her cup. "Thing was two hundred mile spaceship, parked outside a black hole. Ten years i waited, couldn't have been more than an hour on the top deck where the doctor was. Two maybe. I spent ten years watching him give some sort of explanation. Could tell when he was making a joke, when he was annoyed. Just by looking at his face. And i waited. Razor took me out once. Probably just to show me I couldn't leave. And he was right. The thing in my chest would only keep me alive in the hospital itself. But I got to see the people first." She shuddered.

"They were dying. Even the children looked sick. Brand new ship up top. Hundreds of years old down where we were. Said the hospital was converting people to make them stronger so we could go to the higher decks. That everyone they sent up never came back, so they had to be stronger. It scared me. Couldn't tell which was worse. The people dying on the streets, constantly sick and starving, or the patients in the hospital who begged me to kill them. Waiting got harder and harder."

"Then one day on the screen the Doctor was gone. Down the lifts. I asked Razor where they came out. He asked me not to ask again. Went on about how i was his favorite person and if I asked again he'd have to tell me. I bought it, like an idiot. Even apologized to him before I asked again. We snuck in that night to the conversion theater, which was where I'd woken up. Next bit is something of a blur. It's like... flashes, you know? Pieces of memories. The Doctor looking up at me, suddenly shorter, asking where I was. He was looking right at me and asked where was Bill Potts. Being up on a roof, watching the Master and Missy tormenting the Doctor while he was strapped to a chair, but being unable to move or stop them." Her hands closed into fists, away from the tea cup as she stared at the dark liquid. "All these others, converted like me, though I didn't know how I looked then, attacking. Missy And the Master leaving the Doctor for dead. Arriving with the Doctor on one of the solar farm levels. Then kind of... just... nothing. I guess. Nothing till I woke up in a barn. Not sure if it was that day or another day or what. Just one minute I'm holding the Doctor and he was so small, then I'm in a barn."

She took another sip of tea then set the cup down again. "Woman there when I woke up. Terrified of me. I mean it. Truly afraid. She said I had to stay in the barn because I scared the others. But I could tell I scared her too. Not sure why. She told me I couldn't see the Doctor, that he was too injured. Then she locked me in. Guess i feel asleep or something then. Must have done. Cause I woke up and there was this little girl. Kinda reminded me a bit of the pictures of myself at that age. Especially when she spoke. She told me the others were all scared of me, but she wasn't. i asked her why and she ran off to get me a mirror."

Bill looked down at her hands, opening and closing them. "When I looked at my hands, they were my hands. That was all. Just regular ordinary hands. Down to the burn I got my first day serving chips. But when I looked in the mirror this... this thing... looked back at me. The Doctor came in as I was freaking out. Told me I was something called a Cyberman. Started explaining it all to me. Not sure if you know what a Cyberman is?" she asked looking up, realizing finally that she might have to explain that bit.

May & June Test Drive

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