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[thewakemods]

It's that time again!



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Comments

[goodnight_vale]

No. Goodness, no. [He chuckles, a deep, chest rumbling chuckle.] Nothing like that at all. Or you, for that matter. But...this city is know to collect all sorts.

[whohastimeforthat]

So I've seen.

And what sort are you, Cecil Palmer?

[goodnight_vale]

Why, I'm...the usual sort, of course. Radio announcer, you know, I announce things. Like, the news! And local gossip, and the weather. It's important work. The voice of the community, you know.

[whohastimeforthat]

Considering my species has long since passed the usage of radio, you'll have to explain what precisely it is that you do.

[goodnight_vale]

Beyond the usage of radio!

[It's almost too much for Cecil to even imagine! He buries his face in his hands.]

How do they get the news! Or develop a sense of community over the shared horrors of day to day life?

[whohastimeforthat]

Subspace transmissions is one way we communicate the news to one another. However, I fail to see how a "sense of community" would be formed through either means, Cecil Palmer.

[goodnight_vale]

That's why you need a radio host! [He can't believe you're missing the point! This is very distressing!]

They don't just rattle off the news. Anything can read off of a sheet of paper, but it takes a radio host to give it meaning. That's what I do!

[whohastimeforthat]

And what, pray tell, is that supposed to mean? How can one person reading the news derive any more meaning from facts than anyone else?

[goodnight_vale]

Okay...okay. [He's getting a headache already. He takes a moment or two to collect his thoughts.]

There are facts and then there is the news. Facts can be confusing, or boring, or sometimes they're even contradictory. About half the time, they're made up or given to me by one of various secret government agencies, trying to disseminate their agenda. But the point is, there's not much but the bare bones there. A computer can read off the facts, but it doesn't give the listener any reason to, well, listen!

And that's where someone like myself comes in. The radio host, talking about...well, just about everything really. Night Vale is a small city. So too is Nautilus.

[whohastimeforthat]

[Not even gonna bother with the "secret government agencies" part because there likely are those on Earth. Look at how the Plumbers handle things "locally".]

You still haven't explained how it's any different than just reading those same facts.

[goodnight_vale]

It's how you read it! [Cecil's practically tearing at his hair now!]

[whohastimeforthat]

[Sighing in frustration.] Perhaps a demonstration is in order? I might better understand if I hear the "how" since it seems to be a subjective judgment.

[goodnight_vale]

Fine, fine. If you insist.

[Cecil clears his throat, looking as if he's about to speak. And then...doesn't.]

This is very difficult without my notes.

[whohastimeforthat]

[Narrowed eyes. Oh, no, Cecil. You are not getting off the hook that easily. You have Azmuth curious now, and he will not be denied.]

Then try and make up something that sounds like news. Use the Network for inspiration if you must.

[goodnight_vale]

[Again, Cecil clears his throat. Then frowns. And clears his throat again. Nope, this isn't happening.]

I can't make up the news! That goes against my journalistic integrity! [He actually has some, go figure. but then he huffs, clearly flustered as he smooths down the front of his vest once again.]

But in the interest of a proper explanation...I do remember my last show.

[So he clears his throat once again, and begins as he always does then the subject turns to one of the past mayoral campaign until Cecil forgets what he said next. Only then does he actually stop talking.]

[whohastimeforthat]

[Azmuth just sort of...stares.]

...That's the news where you come from?

Also, what's a dog park and why can't dogs enter it?

[goodnight_vale]

I explained that! Weren't you listening? The dog park is strictly off limits. Especially for dogs.

[As if that explains everything, Cecil.]

[whohastimeforthat]

Given standard naming conventions not just with humans but across the Milky Way, "dog park" implies that it's a place for dogs, not banning them.

[goodnight_vale]

Maybe where you come from. [Cecil chuckles darkly.] But in Night Vale, we don't talk about the dog park.

That's not really the point, you know? It was just a demonstration of my job.

[whohastimeforthat]

You're the one going on about how you give meaning to the facts. I was trying to get you to do your job.

[goodnight_vale]

I was! [Cecil throws his hands up in the air and then stomps around again. Azmuth, you just don't get it!]

[whohastimeforthat]

[No, no, he doesn't. Because you make no sense.]

Explain how that was supposed to give meaning to your listeners at all.