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gotosleep_idiot2017-04-07 12:18 am
thewakemods) wrote in gotosleep_idiot2017-04-07 12:18 am
Entry tags:
April Test Drive Meme
It's that time again!
→ Comment with a new character you'd like to test out in the game's setting. (put character/canon in subject line pls!)
→ You don't have to be in the game to comment! HI NEW PEOPLE LET US ENABLE YOU.
→ Tag around with new and old characters.
→ App all those characters
→ ???
→ PROFIT!
**NOTICE** - For new series and recent updates/occurrences to existing ones, please mark as SPOILERS if you must refer to such, but please use your own discretion in general.
Re: B.
[And takes out the blue TARDIS diamond ring Ten made for her. Carefully unhooks it from her TARDIS keychain and puts it on her hand.]
[In some ways, it's like an older Rose. And she frankly considered it a wonder now that the younger Doctors hadn't taken turns to punching Ten sometimes.]
I didn't say don't talk to him, or don't touch.
I said I'm not sharing him. Not even all of him, just Nine. You can have whatever relationship the two of you want together, that's nothin' to do with me.
[She could fly the TARDIS properly.]
[???]
[Rose feels a little betrayed, truth told. And the idea that she has adventures without the Doctor unnerves her to no end.]
[She winds up biting a nail in thought.] Yeah, right. I suggest tellin' him that bit about adventurin' without him. He'll love it.
[About as much as Rose loved him adventuring without her.]
[Which was to say....]
[No, she hated it.]
And this has nothing to do with my insecurities over him. [SIGHS and pushes her hair back with a hand.] Do you think you being dangerous is supposed to scare me? I've met the dalek emperor, and even Sarah Jane said I'm more than a match for him! [Annoyed growl.]
I said, I won't share 9. Try pulling the husband thing with him. See how far you get. [SHRUGS.]
[She wonders if it IS insecurity. Well, probably? She's NEVER had clear footing with him, where they stand. And even when he tried over and over to give that to her, did she believe him?]
[She did here. And now. In Nautilus. She trusted him.]
[Rose holds up a hand. Serious-faced.] Right, don't, and just take it as a warning from a child, all right? I'm sure you treasure every moment you spend with the Doctor, just as much as I do -- [Why adventure without him then?! He wasn't just the TARDIS. He was dumb and likely to fall apart without help! He was reckless to the point of suicide. He needed, always needed, a hand to hold. What was the point of a wife if not that?]
[Rose will never understand him.] 'm just -- not in a good place with him all split up. Don't get me wrong, I love gettin' to see his different lives, I do. And I love meetin' all of him, and it's like havin' my childhood best friend around I never knew was missin' before, yeah?
[How to explain it?]
[Well she couldn't. She couldn't even put it into words. That 9 was like her wolf mate. That 10 she had no choice but to trust, and did, and knew he was depressed about his future and losing Rose, and whatever else, and that she was glad anyone could hold him together.]
[But 9 was....]
[Maybe it was insecurity.]
[With Ten, she knew he fell in love with Renneitte in just one day, knew he was going to need to move on in the future and...]
Seriously, talk to Eight, all right? The fancy gothic one.
I can't explain it about 9, but I mean it. I don't share. Do your worst, because it won't make it happen.
[9 died for her, turned into 10 because of that. Maybe part of Rose was worried what would happen if it didn't. But then... she'd already told 8, she would give it all up, let 8 undo even 9's existence if it meant the Doctor would be happier.]
[Happier right? So she should share 9.]
[She 1000000% can't though.]
[Every time she's tried ended in disaster! Maybe she was as dependent on him as Fluffy was for staying stable on Rose?? Or worse???]
[Why.]
[WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?]
[She's going to have to talk to Adrien and Dirk and maybe Four.]
[But she's not walking it back either.]
You can have saved him billions of times and it still doesn't change all the times I have either, yeah? And I am sorry, that he isn't gonna remember you here. That he's all too young, because I know I acted the idiot around 8, and I still do. [Shakes her head.] But it's not about him, it's about me.
I haven't married him, because I don't want to force his hands. His younger or older selves.
I can't share 9 anymore than I can just... share my Mum. Or Dad. Just too much. Let it grow on me and we'll see, I always wanted a kid sibling to boss around.
[Shakes her head. It's funny. THIS is the kind of speech she expected Sarah Jane to give her back then. And the fact that she was doing it to someone else now when Sarah Jane had been nothing but supprotive and blessedly helpful does NOT make her proud.]
[Like a part of her watching herself out of the corner of her eye wanting to smack herself.]
[And yet she couldn't stop either.]
You can marry a future version of him, and I'm happy for you, I really am. Both of you, even. [And... it's true, albeit somewhat to Rose's admitted surprise...]
But I'm still not sharing 9. The only reason I could with Jack, is because I already did.
Do whatever you want, I'm not gonna stop ya. I'm just not gonna share him. [Said for the 80th time or so...]
Re: B.
I've made Daleks beg for mercy at the mere mention of my name.
[That was the only thing she has to say about Rose's claims or just how much they fear her over The Doctor. Or, did before he went and erased all his records. Even then, River's not a woman to mess with with her own reputation to stand on.
She didn't need to be in The Doctor's shadow, she stood equal with him in every way imaginable. And she was definitely not someones 'kid sibling.' Or that easily to rile. Rose just so happened to press buttons that were never meant to be pressed when it came to River's relationship with The Doctor.]
Whether or not he cares for my adventures with the TARDIS doesn't matter. She was always willing to dash off and be back before he noticed and there's nothing he can do about it.
[Which spoke volumes about just how much the TARDIS trusted River. And as for the ring... she wanted to laugh. A ring? She never needed one to know he loved her. River just knew that he loved her in some form or another and accepted that.
When one loves a Timelord, they need to understand that they may as well be loving the stars themselves and that they must be able to share him, all of him no matter what. That will never change no matter how young or old he may be. To see him with someone so selfish and possessive almost made her feel sorry for 9 and 10. But, they did it to themselves.
River merely had to sit back and wait for them to come to their senses and she was rather confident they would after she's been around long enough.]
Rose, there is a lot about him you will never understand and I doubt you ever will, especially when it comes to loving someone like him.
Re: B.
Don't ever try to tell me how to love the Doctor.
I never wanted to in the first place. You might think you know him, but you know the version who stopped trying to chuck 'imself in front of trains, because I held his hand when he needed it.
There are plenty of days when I know exactly how mad it is to be even just travelin' with a centuries old alien, but I don't love him because I chose to or made some choice about that. The choice I did make, the important one, is that I promised him forever. And I'm not letting anythin' come between that. Not the dalek emperor, not TimeLords, not even Hell or the Void itself, and sorry, but not you either, yeah?
There's a lot I will never understand about him, that I'll definitely die before I get to, and I really don't care. Because for me he's not a puzzle to solve either. He's just my best friend. Someone I run with. And I hold his hand and remind him that the universe isn't all black holes and demons, it's fun and silly, and adventurous and wonderful, and being kind can hurt, yeah, but it's still always better'n not! And there's always people in the wrong place, at the wrong time, that he can help and make the universe a nicer place worth livin' in.
Is scarin' daleks supposed to be intimidating or somethin'? So does the Master. So does he. Come talk to me when you do the impossible and give them back emotions they aren't even supposed to be able to have. Or eliminate all of them from the universe and time and space for the billionth time, because not even losing Gallifrey could get rid of all the daleks! But I did. And I didn't even do it on purpose!
Anyone can destroy or hurt. That's nothin'. That's all daleks think they can do. My job is to remind him he's bettar than that! And I'm sure as hell not perfect at it, maybe not even good at it, but there's a reason he doesn't like guns. You can be his wife, but from where I sit? You know him less than he knows himself, and that's just sad.
Re: B.
River had news for her. That was nothing compared to what her love for that silly mad man led her to do and will continue to lead her to.
And quite frankly, she could tell that no matter what she said, Rose felt self righteous about her love for the Doctor. That alone made River pity her of all things.]
The Doctor doesn't need someone to hold his hand. He never did and he never will. The mere fact you think that is rather hilarious and very childish. What that man needs is someone just as mad as he is to get right into the thick of trouble with him.
[She pauses for a moment, considering something and then says it anyway.]
If you really think you wiped the Daleks from existence then, you failed. The Daleks are very much alive in the future and nasty as ever.
[Vindictive? Probably. But, she couldn't resist.]
As for promising him 'forever', that notion alone is rather ridiculous.
Times end, Rose. They have to. Even my time with him draws to a close and even though it hurts him, he needs those moments to appreciate the good times and grow with the bad times.
As for knowing him better...
[All River had to do was whisper one word into his ear and he would trust her without fail. However, that was never, ever done lightly. That was reserved for the most dire of circumstances.. a secret that she would take to her very grave and she had a feeling was very well going to.]
Spoilers.
Re: B.
[Rose already knew the daleks came back, they always would. But she doesn't care, mocking her promise, anyone can do, but it'll never change it.]
Re: B.
[River wasn't mocking her. She was warning her. As much as The Doctor needed people in his life, he also needed those painful moments without them. For good or bad, he needed those times just as much as the good times.
She had a feeling Rose would never understand and by the sounds of it, she never will. River would never change him, just help him in every way she could no matter what path he took and that was what a real wife to the doctor was. Of course, sometimes that help took the shape of ending time itself, but... she was a lot brasher back then... and it got a marriage proposal. So, who was she to complain?
For now though, She was simply going to sit back and watch Rose self-destruct with her there, calmly waiting and ready for The Doctor to come to his senses. And if he didn't? Then it looked like someone might be getting slapped in the future.]
However, think about something. If he loves you so much, how far are you willing to let him go to keep you safe. How far is too far?
There are lines even he should never cross no matter what he may think.
Re: B.
He already knows the many lines I won't let him cross. I'll never let him trap me on a pedestal to keep me safe, I'll never let him treat me as anything less than equal partner.
[She takes the ring off with her teeth, and undoes the chain to put it back.]
Did he actually tell you his name or did you find out through some other means? Does he trust you? Does he trust you to protect the universe, the multiverse when he can't? To do his job when he can't? To do what he can't?
Have you ever sat there and cradled his head while he sobbed uncontrollably counting the dead in his wake? Or held his hand through the shadows of horrors he can't name or speak words of? Have you ever actually seen Gallifrey burning, or the Time War, and the other things he even tries to shield himself from?
I keep his secrets for him, from himself, but I have nevar doubted how much he needs me. That is the only reason I went along with him. It sounds more like you need him. More's the pity.
I asked you how you met him, because it's important. But he asked me along. Twice. I've found my way back even when he thinks I'm lost, and I do what he can't because it has to be done, and he knows I always will do it, because that's who I am.
I don't know you are Mrs. River Song, but I'll say again, you don't have a teaspoon's understanding of my depths either.
You and Lady Me can call me a child, but I'd rather be that than as out of my depths as you.
I don't need the Doctor. I just love him. I'm beginning to wonder if you even understand what that actually means. [Holds a hand up.] Not that you don't love him, but I think you and I have very different ideas what love means and what it entails. [She closes her eyes and shakes her head.] No, I'm quite sure of that.
Re: B.
The fact of the matter was, the doctor Rose was describing was a very, very far cry from what he would become and she rather doubted this girl was really...truly up to the task of being the equal partner he would eventually need his wife to be. ]
You never asked when was the first time he met me, only when I met him. There's a marked difference when it comes to my time with the doctor. There is much, much more to our relationship than you could ever fathom.
[River couldn't help it.But, if Rose really... truly wanted to compare notes, then so be it.]
I have stars and worlds burn because they love that man when he refused to ask for help. I took it upon myself to show him just how much he was loved and by no one more than me.
[She nearly destroyed time itself to prove that point. Selfish? Probably, but, it worked.]
You may have seen the horrors, but, have you seen the good? He may leave the dead in his wake, but, think about the lives he saves. There are worlds out there where 'Doctor' means great warrior because of that man and all he focuses on are the dead, not the living.
He is frustrating and amazing, an yes he told me his name because I am the one person in the universe... in the multiverse that he will come to trust with his darkest secrets and the only person who truly could. There is nothing he can do that I can't do.
[In a way, she could thank the silence for that.]
You may think I don't know your depths Rose Tylers, but, you don't know mine. I do more than keep his secrets from him or for him.
I have seen that man escape death more times than I can count and if that's not enough, I would gladly die to save that man and I'm rather sure that one day, I will so he can have all the adventures we are meant to have.
You think that helping him through the grief of loosing Gallifrey is hard? Just you wait. There are worst days to come for him and I will be there for them all. There will be days when the mere mention of his name will make armies run and where he will be the thing that the evil in the universe will fear the most.
They will fear him enough to make a weapon to bring him down, one that will succeed and I will be there in those darkest days to do exactly what he needs or can't do himself.
Loving him is more than just staying. More than merely running with him more than coming back to him when he thinks he's lost you. It's reminding him that the bad comes with the good and he shouldn't focus on the bad but focus on the good. On the people who need him to be him.
To be The Doctor and everything that entails. Ask him, why did he take that name? He could have any name in the universe but he chose that name. Why?
Because that is who he is and there are many, many times he needs to be reminded of that. Holding his hand and coddling him in his grief doesn't do that. He needs reminders, not sympathy. No some woman who loves him because he's 'broken'.
The Doctor isn't broken, Rose. He's a man whether he wishes to admit it or not. A frustrating, handsome, annoying, mad man with a box who will save lives and always be on the run to the next big adventure.
Re: B.
[Rose opens her mouth, about to shout, about to interrupt!]
[This was EXACTLY what she told Ashildr she was scared of. What she feared and hated! And it seizes her throat right up, so no words come out.]
[Her eyes are hard.]
[Extremely hard.]
[And it's a good note of Rose's own levels of composure that she doesn't do anything, doesn't react much. In fact, her voice is almost emotionless, just quiet and very sad.]
Stay away from him.
I was wrong. I don't just mean 9 anymore. I mean you're toxic. I thought Lady Me was, but I was definitely wrong about that. Compared to you? She's just a pill. Bitter, side effects, but at least with some power for good.
You? [Shakes her head.] I'm sure you'll hurt him if you think it's for his own good. And I can't ever trust that. [And Rose... can't. It's the line she will never cross. She agonized over taking his memories from him knowing it was to make him happier. River was like a surgeon. Ready to cut away at him like he was some diamond in the rough. Rose liked the rough, took him as he was. She did not like River.]
[The evil the Doctor hated the most. An arrogant TimeLord would rather everything was static than allow for free will and freedom and making mistakes and getting messy, and learning and evolving. A TimeLord who would decide life and death because he was so sure of his own power to be right.]
[Rose was terrified of that. Terrified. But she wasn't willing to let this woman who thought she knew what was best for him decide that. If anything, it was too close to her worst fears. Hell no. Did River even understand the joy of adventures? Or WHY it was important to hold his hand? Had she she ever made all of him laugh? Any of him? Reminded him how to dance, how to laugh?]
[Rose all but has a panic attack, thinking about how River might react if she saw Ten the way he got without Rose to keep him steady. Would River Song be willing to kill Ten to make him regenerate just so he'd be the way she thought he should? Or how much pain until he stopped what she felt he must?!]
I know the days he stopped calling himself the Doctor, and the days 8 has yet to come. Just stay away from all of him. If you really love him, if you really want what's good for him, don't go near him. He's actually happy here, do you understand? Let him come to you, make him want to come to you for all I care, but don't reach out to him, don't do anything that hurts him. Or I swear to you, you'll wish you had never met me. I won't even let you beg for mercy, I'm not even that nice. Just stay away from him for his own good.
[For the first time, Rose REALLY TRULY WISHES that 10 is right, that Lady Me is ABSOLUTELY from an alternate universe. That the Doctor would never do this to himself, even though ROSE KNOWS OTHERWISE. What was the point? What was the point of saving him if he's going to let himself always be tortured like this? Did she even really save him at all?]
[Little moments. It's about the joy in the meanwhile, before everything. And between it.]
If you really want to protect him, do that. And start with protecting him from yourself.
Oh.
And just so you know. [She taps the side of her head with two fingers.] I've already sent all of this to him. All of him. So you needn't worry about revealing to him what a bad terrible possessive jealous girlfriend I am or whatever rot. I'd done the job for you.
[And indeed, the whole thread is neatly packaged up and psychic-mail sent to 4, 8, 9, and 10.]
Re: B.
He would approach her. If any of his younger selves had any sense, any at all. ]
Is that so? Then you can send him this. If I'm so toxic, have him ask himself why the TARDIS would love me like her own. Would the TARDIS ever let anyone meant to harm him in her doors time and time again and even teach them how to pilot her?
Or let them fix her when he can't. I don't have to force my way into the heart of the TARDIS, Rose. She welcomes me.
[Then River smirked.]
It's probably a good thing you let them know I was here actually. Thank you for doing that part for me.
Re: B.
[If Rose could just bring herself to be a little saltier she'd tell River to sod off, but she refuses to believe that the TARDIS trusts River. She just doesn't believe it at all.]
Re: B.
[River was still very, very confidant. If he really heard what she had to say, even if he feared some of it...he would still be curious. River knew how to be patient with him and she knew that all she had to do was wait.
And, perhaps the future versions of him would show up and then Rose would be in for quite a shock.]