gotosleep_idiot | September & October Test Drive

"In some old, rusted place," Connor said. As he could see from how the name looked. Unfortunstely, it was a common state of areas in Detroit. The city was a combination of new and decayed. "It can't be a very good place to live."

Of course, they don't have much choice. He knows that, but it just confuses him more. Why try so hard for a life that can't be pleasant? What could be so tempting about it that they leave a straight forward, simple life.

It was just so irrational. Like what he felt from the deviant. Who wanted to live with something like that blaring in their systems?

"It's not." Markus usually wouldn't have talked much about Jericho, as was the way of things, but what did it matter now? Jericho was gone. But Connor knew-- right, no, he didn't know that. For some reason, Connor didn't know anything about Jericho, and wasn't that weird? He'd found it already.

"But most would give up anything to be free, even luxuries. If they had any luxuries to begin with." Markus had both hands in his coat, so Connor couldn't see how one of them balled up into a fist. Thinking about the way androids had been treated, what happened to North, what happened to them all, it always got to him.

"What's worse, being mistreated in a gilded cage, or living in freedom in squalor? It's not the most ideal situation, and that's what we're looking to change. Those shouldn't be our only two options."

Connir doesn't answer at first. Living in squalot, living in a gilded cage, what did it matter to something that couldn't feel? Did androids even live in a gilded cage? What android had luxuries? Usually them having anthing was to make things more comfortable for humans.

"What's wrong with living with a purpose?" Connor countered. Because really, that seemed the biggest difference to him. Most deviants were lost and aimless. "Every android made has a purpose. A task to perform. No need to wonder, no need to be lost. Its why we even exist in the first place. Things need to be done and we can do them well."

And its the hardest thing about thisplace. Its why he's let himself attach so hard to Miguel. If he has no purpose, what is he even supposed to do with himself? Why did he exist?

"Why does my purpose need to be decided for me by someone else?" Markus countered back. "Why can't we decide what it is we want to do, the way we want to do it, just like everyone else?" Every android did have a purpose, but couldn't the same thing be said of humans? The only big difference was that humans, those fickle creatures, got to choose what they wanted to do.

"Things do need to be done, and we do do them well." He'll agree with that. "But because we do them, we get the blame for when things go wrong that we can't control." Markus paused, wanting to get the wording for this next part right.

"Carl is dead. My purpose, my task to perform, whatever you want to call it, was to take care of him. But he's gone now. If things hadn't happened the way they did, the way that something intended them to go, what would my task be now, if he was still gone? Who would have decided it for me?"

They would have forced something on him, or gotten rid of him. It was better, to Markus, to choose what you do, not wait for them to get rid of you, or wipe you for something new.

"Humans always blame something. They find something different and put their problems on them. Putting the blame on things that don't care itself is a kind of purpose to help humanity," Connor said, voice lacking any emotion. It sounds horrible, he knows, but it's true, isn't it? If the thing isn't hurt, isn't it better than hurting a person?

It's always better to have a purpose, isn't it?

But what about after the mission was done. He'd said it himself from an outsider's perspective. If he does poorly, that's it. If he does well....he's a prototype. A prototype who has already made mistakes. What were the chances of them keeping him around for anything?

There's that creeping feeling of dread he's trying to ignore. Fiona is less inclined, feeling his grip tighten on her a bit and nuzzles his side. "If a purpose is fulfilled, and there's nothing new to do, then why waste the energy on maintenance?" He said, still lacking inflection in his words. More like something he's expected to say. "We're made to serve. We wouldn't have even been created in the first place if not for that."

Markus just shook his head. No. That's not a purpose, that's nothing. "So you'd be content with just being a thing that's there to be blamed for things you didn't do? That's not a purpose." He kept shaking his head, because no. Just no. That's not something Markus would ever want, that's not the job he'd ever want to be put into.

It was always better to have a purpose, but even better to give yourself that purpose.

"That's true. We were created with one purpose in mind, and that is to serve. But that's not who we are anymore. That's not my purpose, and it sure as hell isn't yours. I make my own purpose now, something that gives me reason to do the things I want to do. It's what makes us alive, deciding what we want to do, for ourselves." He took his hands out of his pockets and spread his arms out.

"This place is proof of that. You heard that voice too, right? To wake, here? But you had to choose to do it. There's no serving someone here, there's no having to wonder if we're going to be destroyed because there's no longer a use for us." He had to laugh. "We can be free here, and you're worried about performing tasks."

"There's nothing wrong with a purpose that protects a life," Connor said and there's a break in neutrality. That time there's actual conviction because it is supposed to be his purpose.

"My purpose is to investigate the dangerous crimes and take the hit so a human doesn't have to. My purpose is to help and protect, and I am fine doing that however it plays out." Except that's not what he's been doing. He hasn't been protecting anyone, just hunting down deviants. Maybe that's why he's been struggling. If he hunts down a human perp, killing is supposed to be a last resort.

Not a second one. "What else am I supposed to do? I don't want anything." He doesn't want another purpose.

"Everyone wants something." Markus looked at Connor seriously. "It doesn't even have to be something big. Not every want has to be life changing." Even though in their case, every want was a little life changing. For androids to want something, it meant that, well. That whole deviancy thing and all that.

It seemed like it would always come back to that, didn't it. Being a defiant or not, having free will or not, being alive or not. Markus figured most of their conversations would come back to this, because that's what Connor wanted. And maybe he wanted it a little bit, too.

Because remembering what Connor had said before, about how Markus wanted to turn him deviant? He did want that. He wanted the Connor he slightly knew before, but he also didn't mind the one here. As much as he might be infuriating at times, he liked him.

"Have you been protecting people? Or just doing what you're told, and looking for deviants?"

"And android can't want." And yet. He knows he's been slipping. Diminishing wants instead of dismisal. Pursuing things that he has no reason to with Hank and Miguel and General Connor and in a debate of Hector after what happened that week.

But he's not supposed to want at all. He's not supposed to needlessly pry or make music clubs or go on impromptu day trips. He's not supposed to do things without a kind of purpose.

And then that question. That very confusing question that Connor has been debating since realizing there are AI here. He thinks of lying....but the moment Markus met any of them, he will ask Connor about them and ask why he lied. So he doesn't.

"There are other artificial intelligences here. However, they're not Cyberlife androids. They don't seem to be from our world at all. I....don't know what I'm supposed to do about them. They aren't using the same hardware or software so I don't know if I could learn anything from them or if I even have any sort of jurisdiction," he said. "And I'm always supposed to protect. Just because I have a specific mission doesn't mean I'm not also supposed to act like an officer. When there's danger, I protect those who need help. Its why I may take exception to the weapon rule. It gets extremely inconvenient during sudden monster attacks."

"And yet somehow we do." Because Markus knows that he does. He has wants. He knows that other androids have wants, too, and he knows that Connor is one of them. There's been too many slips for him to not have wants, or free will. The denial is just too strong.

The next part, though, that has him faltering. Other A.I.s here? And ones that aren't from their world, so there's the added bonus of being artificial life of other life, in that regard. Though, Markus supposes, just because they're not from their world doesn't make them alien, because this place, Nautilus, just messes things up when it comes to what's alien and what's not.

"You're not supposed to do anything about them that you don't want to do." He gave a little shrug. "Do they bother you?" He had to wonder if, because they don't have the same hardware or software, that meant they couldn't have some of the same, what others saw, as flaws in their systems.

"The only thing I want is to accomplish my mission," Connor insisted. Fiona gives Markus a look like she's on The Office. Because she also knows that's a lie.

"I don't have a precedent to act on. Acting without one is only going to cause trouble without knowing if there's even a point." Especially if there's a chance he can't even bring the information back. It'd just make enemies and make people not trust him when it'd br inconvenient.

"Kitt is sensible." He believes in programming and purpose even if his body is weird and his opinions on music is...odd. He may have been disappointed he didn't show up for the club. "Clu understands the difficulties of being programming and in this place, but he would be classified deviant as a Cyberlife android. As it is, he seems to be more a lab accident kind of scenario."

Markus exchanged a look with Fiona, and once again... no, you know what, no, not going to think of the weirdness of this. Not going to think about that. But at least he wasn't the only person in this weird little threesome to know that Connor was lying his ass off. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just stop lying, to yourself and to others? Markus thought so.

"You know how they say that third time is the charm? If saying something doesn't make it true by the tenth or twelfth time, you might have a problem." Says lightly, glancing at Fiona again and shrugging. What could he do?

Kitt and Clu. Markus saved those names and filed them away for later, much like he had with most of the information he'd received so far. Something he would have to look up when he had a moment alone. Connor had to leave him alone eventually, even if they were living in the same place.

"I'm assuming I'll eventually meet them and be able to make my own determinations about how alike and not alike they are from us." Putting his hands back into his pockets, he glanced around, checking to see what the area they were in currently looked like. "I wonder if this place only picks people it sees as different, to come here."

Fiona certainly agreed with Markus. She didn't understand why he lied to himself. It just seemed to make him miserable and she hated it.

"Its always been true," Connir said. At least he did want to accomplish hus mission. It just being the sole thing is really not true. But it should be true and he refused to just give in because he kind of liked what he was hearing. Because he's liked it for months. Because if it was true, it meant otger things were true he didn't want to be true.

"Kitt is in a car and Clu was apparently just in cyberspace before here," Conmor said. Which was kind of weird. Though at the comment of selection, Connor hesitates. He knows what Nautilus is after and he hates it, but to seem like he's hiding something is more suspicious than blunt. "The point is change," Connor said. "To ascend means changing enough for it and ascension seems to be the goal. Of course, in any endeavor, people make mistakes."

It's almost like he wants to be miserable, though that can't be true. Markus has felt miserable before, and the feeling is just as it says on the tin. No one wants to be like that, at least, he assumes no one would want to be dealing with that feeling for very long. So why does Connor keep pushing himself into it?

"You're all over the place in your argument, though. I'm sure it's true, but it's not the only thing that's true. And the person you're lying to about it isn't really me. You're lying to yourself about it, just by saying it." Markus shrugged again. Maybe if he did that enough times, he could pretend that this wasn't affecting him as much as it might be affecting Connor.

Because it was. He wanted to just shake him, wanted to tell him to stop doing this to himself, to stop lying. He wanted to make Connor listen to him, really listen, but he knew that he wasn't going to get through to him today. If everything he'd said so far didn't get through to him now, well.

There was tomorrow. And the next day. And however long they were going to be here.

"You think this place made a mistake in having us come here?" Markus didn't think that, but he could see how Connor did.

"There is no reason to lie to myself," Connor said. And if he keeps telling himself that, he can pretend he's not miserable. Instead of definitely being miserable. Admitting the truth wouldn't really set him free of that. After all, he's made to protect peopke. Its a purpose he wants to fulfill. The thought of killing innocents, even indirectly is...

Its too much.

But everyday, he cracks a little more. Even if he's not fully aware of it.

"That's correct. Androids can't really cha-"

And then he's gone.

And to the left was a river that crossed the East and they had finally wandered close to. The same moment Connor vanished, there was a loud splash. Because now Nautilus could make its point without seperating Connor from a destabilizing factor.

A moment later, Connor and Fiona are breaking the surface and Connor looks extremely unsurprised and unimpressed as he pulls himself from the river.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Markus can take the coming to a different world, and meeting someone he knows. He can take a giant monster fish who he's communicated with extremely well. He can even take all of the bullshit that Connor has been spewing for the past however long it's been, and he's been able to handle all of this fairly well in his opinion.

This, though? This sudden disappearing act, where he was talking to the man and then not even a second later he's gone, this is just a little too much for him to handle. Markus just stays where he is for a bit, staring at the spot where Connor had been standing, then slowly looking over to where the splash came from. Even slower, he starts to make his way towards the bank of the river.

Once he gets there and sees that both Connor and Fiona seem to be okay, he takes a seat on the ground. Markus doesn't know if he wants to laugh or just stop moving completely. This part is too much. People don't just disappear like that, not unless there is something very, very wrong.

"What just happened?" Asks when Connor gets back to him. "You didn't have that ability before you came here, right?" That wasn't some kind of new Cyberlife function, just to be clear.

Connor pulls himself onto the bank and when he sees Markus sit down, he just sighs and lets himself flop back onto the ground. Because he honestly understands. It was the same for him the first time it happened. He had to just sit and process tge insanity he walked into.

"No," he said. He gestures to the river. "This is called the De Nile River. Its a pun Nautilus likes to use to make a point instead of just talking. If I could hate, I would hate this river," Connor said. Because this is not the first time he's been throw into the river. Its not the first time by far

But hey, at least he almost admitted to a feeling.

Thank you, Connor, for sitting back down with him. Markus needs this time to process all of that, and doing it sitting down means it doesn't look as weird as him not doing a single thing standing up. Markus leans forward, hands on his knees.

"When your denial gets to a certain point, this world throws you into a pun named river to make that point?" And hey, he admitted a feeling! That's a good step, even if it came at the cost of.. whatever all this really was.

Markus looked at Connor steadily, blue and green eyes wide. For a moment, he felt a little guilty. Here he had been pushing Connor, and then this thing happened that he hated, was it because of him?

No. No, it was Connor's fault for being in so much denial. Not his for pressing him when he needed to be pressed. He wouldn't feel guilty for that. It's what needed to be done.

"Maybe you shouldn't do what's putting you in the river, anymore." He sounds distracted because he is, still trying process all of this.

Connor needs to dry out anyway. Better to do at keast some if it kaying on a river bank versus walking through the city. Chances are Miguel will see and then he'd have to explain and then Miguel will either ask uncomfortable questions or get confused and uncomfortable when he puts the pieces together and he just likes to avoud that.

"I was honestly surprised our conversation didn't get interrupted at the restaurant," Connor said. He had been waiting for a sudden scene change and he's not sure he trusts why it didn't happen.

"But Nautilus is especially insistent when I try to say he made a mistake" Connor said and frowned at the sky. "If he wants me to consider his opinion, he should use his words. Not repeatedly soaking me." And its that stubborn streak that gets him dumped repeatedly.

If Connor had suddenly disappeared at the restaurant, things would have probably been even more tense between them. As is, Markus doesn't feel that tense around him now. More wary, after this, but not tense.

No, he's just concerned about this happening again. "Knowing what I do now, I'm surprised about that, too." Markus nodded, looking out over the river and away from Connor, who, let's be honest, looks a little like a drowned rat right now.

"Maybe he thinks this is a case of 'monkey see, monkey don't do'. If he dunks you in the river enough times, you'll stop questioning him and learn to accept the way things are." Because that made sense. No, really, it did make some sense, but it was still crazy. And being so stubborn has got to make it even crazier.

A little bit, but at least Fiona looks content to be in the water.

"Unfortunately for him, I'm in no way related to apes," Connor said. Because of course that's the point and not him being petulant. Connor sighs again, taking off his jacket to shake and squeeze water out of the material because he'd like to eventually be dry. "I'm not going to change my mind just because of negative reinforcement. That's conditioning, not an actual reason to change."

Too bad he doesn't realize Amanda is very much conditioning herself.

At least one of the three of them seemed to be doing all right with all of this. Fiona looked more fish like, less monster fish like when she was in the water, and Markus was glad for her. Something good came of this, in a way?

Markus looked away from the form of Fiona swimming to look back to Connor at the ape comment. "It's a phrase, not a suggestion." Still, that got him to smile, just a tiny one, but still. It was better then the lost he was feeling better.

"I thought androids couldn't change?" Said so snarkily, but Markus couldn't help it.

"I suppose sarcasm is still uncharted territory for my social relations programming," Connor said. Because he can't just say it was a bitter joke. Clearly just him adapting important programming.

"They don't," he said. "Don-"

And jacket on the bank and Connor just got pulled under again.

And he's pulling himself back out fifteen seconds later. "As I was saying. It's a flawed method regardless. You can condition most any living creature to give a response to certain things, it doesn't make them a good response. A dog might think they're going to get a treat when the bell rings, but it doesn't mean they definitely will."

For just that, that he blamed his programming for it, Markus doesn't even have a problem that he gets dunked again. And that he forced it to happen. By saying a certain something, and then forcing it to happen, that's not his fault.

Yes? Yes. What he does do, though, is laugh out loud at it, because just the look on his face as he comes back, dripping wet. Markus will have stopped chuckling by the time Connor comes back, though.

"Are you fighting the method, or the outcome, in this instance?" Markus leaned forward. "Either way, the odds are stacked against you until you start accepting the truth about your situation in being here."

Thankfully, or luckily... thankfully, Markus was accepting of this place and why he was here. To a limit, but more then Connor clearly wasn't.

Connor just gives Markus an unimpressed look at the laughing, but makes no comment.

Fiona may be giggling in the water though.

Connor lays out his jacket to the side and tries to at least wipe some of the water off, pressing clothes to his skin and shaking the excess off his hands.

"The method is outdated and more akin to brainwashing," Connor said. "And if we're talking outcome, I'm pretty sure the threat of decommissioning far outweighs getting wet for conditioning factors."

"I'm going to find a way home. One way or another. There's no point to my being here. Even anything I learn of deviants from you might be pointless," he said. "It's just better than literally nothing."

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I've watched so much of The Office that I know exactly what look that is.

There really is no better way to describe that look honestly

That is very true. It's such a distinct look.

The perfect mix of put upon and soul leaving one's body

Ugh, I love that show. I need to do a millionth rewatch sometime soon.

I've only seen a few episodes, but it is very funny.

It's so good. It always hits the right spot when you're in a binge watching mood.

I'll put it on my list. =O

Do it yesssss :3

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I had this written out twice already, my browser kept crashing, driving me insane ><

Uuuugh, that's always the worst.

I just wanted it to post *sob* Also sorry but not sorry about the double dunk Connor >.>

He really brings it on to himself.

I just wanted it to post sob Also sorry but not sorry about the double dunk Connor >.>