gotosleep_idiot | May & June Test Drive

Rose opened the door with a chagrined grin. See? THIS was why she wanted the cottage. And had it. Well, okay, MOSTLY the night terrors thing, sure. Because dead or dying TARDIS she could do without. But ALSO THIS. Because she never knew who from the future or past had a key, or knew the TARDIS in its shape, and too many of them, far too many of them hadn't the vaguest idea who Rose was. Or worse, could be like River Song and married to the Doctor and it was a whole big headache.

"Hallo," she waggled her fingers. "Fluffy's out flying as a dragon. I'm only here in case the kids needed something, though I think they've all got keys now. But--" with Jack gone. Eh whatever. "I'm Rose Tyler. Fancy a cuppa? Which Doctor are you familiar with?" And did she need to explain that there was more than one?

"Wow that was a lot to hit a girl with all at once," Vill said, chuckling. And possibly checking her out a bit. Okay, whoever this was, not bad. But she probably shouldn't flirt. Well, not too much. She and Heather hadn't really discussed if they were exclusive or even dating or anything. But she was pretty sure they were something.

Bill subtly wiped her hands on her jeans as she tried to peer past Rose to the inside then stopped dead. Dead. She looked at her hands in wonder. The palms were a bit sweaty, always were meeting someone cute out of the blue like this. But that was all. Just normal sweat. They weren't dripping.

Right. One thing at a time. She shoved her confusing hands into her pockets and processed what Rose said. "Fluffy? Kids? Maybe rewind and start at the beginning a bit? What do you mean, which Doctor? He keeps telling people he's the only one. The Original and all that."

Rose pinched the bridge between her eyes.

"Yeaaaaaah about that..."

A sigh.

"You know how some people look really different as they age? Like a completely different person? Okay, imagine it like way more literally. Throw in whole bodies and personalities and voices and -- uh. Other stuff. There's actually--" a beat. How many versions were there in Nautilus? She knew this, but she kind of discounted one of him on a personal note and -- "Several versions just here in Nautilus. And in his own timeline there's fifteen and counting." Another beat. And Rose literally chewed her bottom lip and counted on her fingers. "Fifteen?" Valeyard could make sixteen, unless they were in fact a version that was Meta, or 10 after regenerating into himself, or --"Yeah. Ish." Rose wavered a hand in midair. "It's all a bit mad. Anyway, just describe the version you're looking for and I can tell you if he's here or not and place you in a relative timeframe for him." Another beat. "Or her. I only know of the one lady version, so far, but if you know her as-- No wait you called him a He, so probably not."

"Lady version? The Doctor becomes a woman at some point? I more or less asked him when we were talking about his having a crush on Missy, which by the way ew. Instead of answering, he just started in on how Time Lords were above our obsession with gender or something." She shook her head and put her hands into her pockets, considering, not aware she just gave Rose perhaps the biggest clue she could as to which Doctor she knew.

"I dunno really how to describe him. Looks like he could be my grandpa. keeps insisting father at oldest. Likes velvet. I mean way too much. Kind of needs a tailor, but thinks he dresses sharp."

"Yeeeeeees... a really really sexy-fine lady with blonde hair and a cute scrunchy nose and she--"

Rose cut off and choked over the crush on Missy, flustered and blushing, "P-PARDON?" Air. She needs air. And maybe a bucket of ice water to dump on... one of their heads. Either her own, or the Doctor's.

And another cough about the velvet, and Rose just leads Bill to the kitchen. "Well, velvet is usually Three, but--" An annoyed scowl, that might be the one she's fighting with. "Since you know Missy...." Rose knuckled her eyebrows, setting the tea to simmer with a wave of her sonic screwdriver: modeled after 9's and with "Bad Wolf" written on the side. "Sunglasses, guitar, generally sexy midlife crisis?" She gently beat her forehead with the knuckles. Thank you Lady Me and Clara for these bizarro pieces that she had to puzzle together like jigsaw pieces filling in the blanks of a Bad Wolf identity crisis.

"Maybe not sexy to you, sorry." Rose only remembered that she was the one more into the Doctor... who had a crush on the Master?! SHE WOULD STRANGLE HIM!

Rose leaned back on the wheely office chair, despite it being in a steampunk kitchen, and grabbed the tea kettle to pour them both some tea. "How do you take it?" she murmured, barely remembering manners.

Tea solved everything, right Mum?

She followed her in, stopping to gawk at the console room a bit. Not quite like a kitchen now was it. She shook her head and followed her. "Sounds a bit like you're describing yourself. You're not saying you're the Doctor then, are you? If so, gotta ask what you did to the main room that it looks like that now."

She helped herself to a seat. "You're just messing with me now, aren't you?" she asked. So this was Regeneration then. And now the Doctor is a woman. Was that why Heather wasn't here? Wanted to give her a mo to process that on her own? Cause... this lady goes and tells her that the Doctor has a female form then describes herself perfectly as that? She would have said she was just having her leg pulled, except she clearly remembered how she knew the Doctor. And messing with her for what she said to him at the end. Well fine, if the Doctor was having her on, she could do the same.

Rose snorted. "You think I'm fine?" A beat. "Oi! My nose isn't scrunchy!" She tried to scrunch it more, and her whole face. "Not like hers--" more scronches.

Another laugh and a head shake. "No, no, I really am not the Doctor just..." his soul mate? Yeah. There was no way she could say that with a straight face.

She bit her thumb in thought. And used it to buy time to bend up a picture of the Thirteenth Doctor. Rose doodled a finger on the kitchen table in thought. If not soul mate... first love? No. Girlfriend? Not really. Ehhhh... "It's extremely complicated. As you can imagine with the Doctor involved. His Tenth version is the one out being a dragon that I called Fluffy earlier. I'm sorta married to him. As much as you can be in a multiverse nexus where he's split up into the various versions of himself including the one that came before him that I fell in love with, and all while knowing he gets married again after me. Whereas I got stuck back in my father's Universe, which he can't reach easily without a void ship and instead he let Rassilon do that because again, married to River Song, and the TARDIS doesn't do well out of the Doctor's Universe since her heart is powered by the time vortex of that particular universe. Although he gave me and his clone-self a coral piece to get our own TARDIS..." A head shake. "See? Mad. Annnnd during a storm he got transformed into her. Thirteen. His future... future-future-future. And I fused my heart with the TARDIS a long time ago so time and me and the TARDIS and the Doctor, it's all a bit..." she gently tapped a temple. "Muddled up here, yeah?"

A pout. "I never got to meet Sunglasses Doctor yet. Or anyone past Fluffy. I know there's also Bowtie. But people always did say the Doctor and I were --" a hand wave. "Stupidly alike." A giggle. "I changed bodies with his Fourth self on an April's Fools and even though pretty much everyone could tell, it was really fun pretendin' like they couldn't." A nod!

"Wow. You talk a lot," she said with a hint of a chuckle. "I mean, I hang out with someone who managed to get paid to do nothing but talk for three hours at a time, and still gotta say. You talk a lot." She looked at the picture, then at Rose, then the picture again before sitting back. "Gotta say though, between the two, you're cuter. Still kinda wishing I coulda met him as a her. Maybe I will someday." She grinned a bit. "Since apparently life doesn't exactly stop after death."

"You might," wry grin. "Yeah, apparently not." Hahahahahah... she's sorry Jack. Less sorry for the Doctor.

And she rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "He kind of picked it up from me. The talking like crazy. And I picked it up from my Mum. Like I said; people said the Doctor and I are... a lot alike."

A huff. "He really told you he had a crush on the Master?" She chewed her bottom lip. "He got on my case just for calling the Master good looking in sunglasses, and then went and kissed him..." all the fuming. "I am so dumping a bucket of water on his head when he gets home!"

A pause and then a small laugh and Rose shook her head. "Fluffy can either talk for hours with no break and no words in edgewise, or he goes totally silent to trick you into doing all the work for him. Drives me mad. Much prefer--" She clicked her teeth shut a moment. "Um. The talking. Yeah." Tight grin.

"All right, so enough about him." She rolled her hand in a circle. "How'd you meet? Are you settling into Nautilus all right? Anything I can do for you since the version you know isn't here yet?"

"Said the Master was his man crush back in the day when they were kids. Which was the first I heard Missy had a male form in the first place. Gotta say, hard pressed to know which one of her I want to punch more." She considered. "Might just help you with that bucket though."

She got up to help with the tea, since she'd skipped answering that question. "Just got here a bit ago, still a little confused. Decided Heather could find me well enough, but not the Doctor or Nardole, so I went looking for them, wound up here. So not exactly had a chance to settle in anywhere yet."

Probably a good thing the Master wasn't here anymore then. "He didn't get over it," Rose said sipping her tea.

"Heather? Nardole??" a head tilt. "Gotcha. Okay. Well... welcome to a sentient multiverse nexus. That is just as mad as it sounds, but since you know the TARDIS, he's a bit like her, but with worse taste. Sexy -- that's the TARDIS, guess who named her," wry grin, "Always had the good sense to avoid the Master. The Doctor's a little more... Oh no he's the only one like me!" A snort. "Which, okay, I kind of get, that's how I feel... FELT about him sometimes, the Doctor I mean, but still." A huff. And Rose pushed her hair back with a hand.

"But yeah Nautilus is a good sort mostly. Wry sense of humor. Hence the body-swapping. Oh and there's a Doctor-lookalike who's married to River Song. No idea whose sense of humor that is. Fate? Irony???" A shrug. "Oh! But everything's free here! So that's really nice. And you can do just about anything with bending, which is kind of like will-magic. Like I said, Nautilus is a bit like the TARDIS in that regard."

"Bit to process there," she said with a laugh. "but yeah, the Doctor was all 'The Master's the only friend I ever had who was the most like me' and whatever. S'why he wants so badly for her to be good. Guess he thinks that'll tell him he's good or something. But he is. Missy? Aint. Knew she was going to get me killed, and I was right." She shook her head.

"Now when you say free. what exactly do you mean? When me and Shreen and the others found a house that was too good to be true for us being able to afford it, it was. Doctor had to go in and destroy it. I mean, it was eating people and there was no wifi, but still. First place we found we could afford that had room for us all. So bit sceptical about things being cheap or free these days."

Maybe free would explain the whole magic thing? If not, she'd ask. If she could. This girl's got a gob on her like the Doctor for sure.

Rose growled to herself and started practically carving into a notebook procured out of nowhere with a pen, more wielded like a knife. She's having a jealous fit, don't mind her.

Her ears perk right up at the name though. "You have a best mate named Shireen too?!" A headshake. And a laugh. "Sounds about right for London. Nah, it's not free like--" a face scrunch. "Cyberman upgrades. It's free because... everything that would normally charge money can be done with pure will. It's--" Rose scrunched her face again. "Between all the universes. So your normal dimension rules are right out, yeah?"

"Sorry, back up, explain that bit about the Cybermen again." She scowled and looked at her hands. "Is that why I'm not all watery? Am I back in that stupid suit? Is this that perception filter thing?" Someone was starting to get a little scared now and was backing up towards the door. "I can't be in the Tardis, not like this. I might blow it up or something...." Her chest was heaving a bit as she held her hands out like they had betrayed her.

"What?" Rose just looked baffled. Because she was, truly.

"You can't blow up the TARDIS," she scoffed quietly, a little amused by the idea. "Trust me, stronger forces have tried." Zagreus is in your -- stop that! She mentally yelled at herself.

"Sorry, I must have stumbled on something. Cybermen is a -- CLEARLY you know what they are. But all the rest, I don't know what you're talking about. I just meant, it's a catch, yeah? First it's like "Oh we'll upgrade your phone for free" and then it's 'and your body' and then it robs you of your free will. Nautilus is... totally the opposite, I promise." She made a giant X with her arms. "Noooooo cyberman here. I don't think they could come without a soul, or at least the ability to change their minds. And that's kind of... not how cybermen work, yeah?" A head tilt. "Sorry, I've upset you. Didn't mean to do that. Here, the only catch to being here is that you've been called to wake, but you can't change your timeline or you'll cause flaws, and it can be really devastating to find friends you'll never see again outside of here, only to lose them again here. That's it. That's the only catch."

Another head tilt. "And besides that, there's always hope, yeah? This place... has a lot of hope."

"Hope. that's what he said, at the end. Where there are tears there's hope. But something messed up somewhere." She shook her head, then stopped, forced herself to stop moving at all. "When you see me, what do you see? Honest now, please, don't try and spare my feelings or nothing. I know what I looked like then. I need to know if I look like that now."

Rose pulled up a mirror.

"You're a cute girl, remind me a little of my ex boyfriend Mickey Smith, more than Martha Jones, I think it's the attitude." A pause and a firm nod. "Definitely. You're not into videogames and addicted to watching football at the pub, are you?" A wry grin to show she was joking.

Her shoulders settled as relief filled her. The mirror helped. "Right then. I look like me. Well, me before. Long story, might sound a bit crazy, but till about an hour ago, maybe two now? I was a Cyberman. Only sort of not. But everyone afraid of me, things blowing up when I got angry. Bit of a long story but... just glad that being here I didn't become that.. again."

Rose nodded solemnly. "I was one in a glitched timeline. Killed my Mum."

She grabbed a bottle of liquor out of the cabinet, eyed how low it was with a grimace, her kids had been drinking a lot of late, and poured them both some. "Cheers."

A headshake. "Not a cyberman here." And Ianto was gone so she didn't need to warn him or her or-- Another gulp of the whiskey.

"I'm not sure how Nautilus figures out who to bring and what points to bring them from, but I know even a dalek showed up once! Mind, not a regular dalek. One who wanted to destroy all the other daleks. Bit weird. Loved him to pieces. I miss Rogue." A shrug. "Mostly people brought here aren't rampaging psychos. Or yanno, as with the case with Rogue, can sort of control it and channel it to not-all-sentient lifeforms other than themselves."

She eyed the bottle then shook her head. "Nah, not thanks, mate. If I'm really me again, want to feel it for a while. Going to just stick with tea I think. Unless you got chips. Met a Dalek once. Well, a few of them a bit, but only one really. Tried to kill my girlfriend. Then... was my girlfriend for a short while there." She was reconsidering the drink now, actually.

"Yeah, I can make chips," Rose beamed. And then blinked. "Your girlfriend was a dalek?" WELL, there was a first for everything... "This I've gotta hear."

"Used to be a chip girl, back home. Still could be if I want. Not sure. Universe is great and all, but also liked having a part of my life that was just... life. Course that was back when I actually was alive." She shook her head. "And there am I sounding like the Doctor, telling the whole thing wrong way round. Bit of a long story though, not sure you want to hear it all."

"Me too!" beam beam. "For a bit. But I would nevar wanna go back to it!" Rose laughed. "Micks kept sayin' I would get fat if I ate all the chips, and I couldn't really stop myself from tastin' each batch. And I nevar wanted to kick the Doctor as much as when he was makin' leers at my cafeteria uniform while he got to be a teacher." A huff.

"I absolutely want to hear all of it," Rose beamed looking like a pouncing wolf. "And don't you dare leave a single detail out."

"Yeah well, not one to kiss and tell, mate," she said sipping her tea. "So there will be at least a few details left out. I actually got someone fat by accident once, as a chip girl. Blame the Doctor really. Pretty thing. Could been a model. Felt bad after. Took me a while to realize I'd even done it."

A pout.

"Eh, chips are better than being a model anyway. I'm sure she was happier." Rose winked.

A beat. "Wait, how is it the Doctor's fault though?" She believed her, since it usually WAS his fault.

May & June Test Drive

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