gotosleep_idiot | April Test Drive Meme

[River just smirks. She doesn't need to defend herself against Rose or anyone else for that matter.]

Rose, I'm going to guess you're feeling pretty threatened by the fact that his future wife just waltzed back into his life.

However, I want you to think about a few things. First, he hasn't met me yet. Or, at least he doesn't remember meeting me. So, from his perspective, we aren't a thing yet.

And Second? The man I love is what he will become. Though, I will admit, teasing his younger selves is always fun.

[Her eyes flicker up and she interrupts after the first part--] No, not really I--

[But she clicks shut quietly to let River finish, even if Rose's desperate need for face masks is coming back to haunt her and she briefly envies V for knowing the usefulness in being Guy Fawkes.]

You... [Scrunches her eyebrows to a point of confusion.] Only love who he'll become?

[Squints and shakes her head, completely confused.] That doesn't even--

[Runs a hand back through her hair, and puffs a bit, blowing bangs and front leaning hair strands away.]

Why?

What changes after me that he's someone you could love and not before? [Cautious, very cautious.]

[Because if anything, she's more scared... what the Doctor becomes. Is it something even Rose couldn't recognize?]

[The ping to 4 becomes a bit more insistent, albeit calm. {Just avoid her I think.} Which meant Four wouldn't avoid her, probably. But then after the initial meeting, would have clear enough warning, and could decide for himself why or why not to.]

[River chuckles.]

Yes and no, I love him all, completely and utterly. Every version, every face. However, I also understand that there were times before me and people he loved before I was even born.

The version I married, that is the one where he knows me and loves me and I accept that. When you love the Doctor, you must be ready for those moments when you look into his eyes and he doesn't recognize you...but, the moments he does...those are the ones worth living for.

[River shook her head slightly, though still smiling.]

What did he become after you Rose? A mad man in a box, like he's always been and one that depends heavily on the people he loves to keep him grounded.

[The first part she just watches. Eyes saying everything that she's not about to touch on.]

[She can't imagine looking at him and him not recognizing her.]

[She nearly killed him when he just was confused about her being ahead of him, and needed space. And overwhelmed 8 and nearly killed him then too when he tried to scare her. Or maybe he wasn't trying to scare her, just scared himself, but he was still infuriating and frustrating and stupid.]

[And the last part, she laughs.] He's always been a madman in a box, I didn't change that. You should meet Four. He's completely cracked.

But... [A soft sad smile.] I'm glad. That he relies on people. That is something that always worried me. [Glances away, because she doesn't like to think about Lady Me and that version and....]

Jack... I don't know if you know... about him, about what happened to him. [Shakes her head.] But Lady Me. That's something that worries me about her with him. She seems so convinced that pushing him away from others would help, and the Doctor I know... is in great danger of losing himself if he even tries.

I know. I've met all of his past selves, just never in order.

[And not that they could remember her either.Besides, if Rose can't handle something like that, then she was in for a very rude awakening one day. That, and she's not the only woman to love him and try to kill him.

River tended to corner the market on that particular trope.]

Rose, I've traveled with him more than anyone else and trust me, there is nothing about him you can tell me that I don't already know.

[A truth as far as she was concerned.]

As for Lady Me, she means well in her own strange way. But, I have a feeling that when we meet up again, there will be words that need to be had.

The Doctor will always need someone at his side to keep him from doing something stupid. And, sometimes, we have to do what he shouldn't do to keep him from becoming something he regrets.

All of them?

[She just narrows her eyes at that assertion. She has no inclination TO tell River anything, but at the idea that River knew him better than Rose did... Rose says nothing. It's what Lady Me said, and Rose didn't care. Rose's problem wasn't even wanting to know him better than anyone else. She just wanted to be with him.]

[Forever.]

I know she does... [Annoyed growl.] And I'm well aware she thinks she needs to protect him from me, but that's a fool's errand if there ever was one, because puttin' him up on some dumb-arse pedestal won't save him from anythin' least of all, 'imself. 'Specially not when he gets fed up and jumps into danger rather than let someone else protect him. [Throws her hands up in exasperation.] Not that he's got any room to talk, because he's the idiot who went and decided to revive her against her whatever her wishes would'a been anyway!

[Lady Me is a good way to get Rose into a fighting mood....]

Yes, all of them.

[She just smiled as she watched Rose. There was anger and fight there, and love for The Doctor. That was easily seen. But, she'd also venture that there is quite a bit of insecurity as well.

River had a feeling that this was going to be an interesting adventure in the strangest of ways once they all met up.]

Like I said, sometimes traveling with the Doctor means you have to do the things he can't... or shouldn't.

Sticking him up on a pedestal isn't good for anyone.

It'll just make him dodgy.

Well, more than usual.

Dodgier.

And no one needs a dodgy Doctor. That's like one of those needle clinic places that you can't even trust to sterilize tattoo needles or the like.

You would be surprised how he gets in his old age. Besides, I never said you needed to stick him on a pedestal.

[More smirking.]

Oh I don't know, keeping him in the dark is fun. After all, he does enjoy a good mystery.

[JUST.... Facepalms and pinches between her eyes.] Okay, got it. You're all kinds of dodgy yourself, yeah?

[It fits.]

[She is so keeping Four away from River though once he's made up his mind on it.]

You could say that.

[River shifts the helmet of her suit from one arm to the other.]

Lets just say, I'm exactly what he needed and leave it at that. Anything else and I'd have to say Spoilers.

[Eyes narrow.] You know that, then? What he needed?

[There was definitely humor in her smirk now, a lot of it.]

Spoilers.

Great. Now I'm beginning to understand why Lady Me doesn't avoid spoilers. Even when we wish she would.

[Lets just say that Rose might be hearing a lot of that word in the near future. ]

Oh? And why is that?

It's annoying. Trying to withhold or manage information.

Not that unloading it is much better. But it's definitely annoying.

Secrets are what I do best.

[Whether Rose found it annoying or not was entirely up to her. River understood that something shouldn't be told, they needed to be lived. ]

Especially from The Doctor. As I said, he loves a good mystery and I'm not about to change that.

Whatever. [Shrugs.]

I'm not much into being a mystery to be solved. Or anything to be solved, me.

That's your choice.

[It really was. River was confident in herself and her relationship with the Doctor even to the point of having other husbands and at least two wives and knowing he probably had the same floating about.

Actually, she was rather sure of it.]

Now, I suppose we should meet up with everyone else. Is the TARDIS here as well?

No.

The Box, looks the TARDIS, but she's mine. Irene made it for me so that the Doctor could have a safe place to make sure I wouldn't run away anywhere else to. [Although she still does. Because not all of him lives there, but whatever.]

She can't fly or travel without the Doctor bending her to, and if you want to leave Nautilus, you have to go through the gates. Don't expect me to make nice about my box. If you're in danger, then yeah, definitely come over. But if it's going to be a big territorial contest or anything that's all emotional drama that drives him mad, I'll just tell him I don't want you there. And since it's easy as anything for me to leave and go somewhere else, trust me, it's just that simple.

Housing is pretty much anywhere that isn't taken, Papa-Dirk and Four live in the Tower in the West. 8 was staying in the cathedral for a bit, and 9 at Mon Repos. They're all kind of... like lazy tomcats that run around and flomp out on warm surfaces though. Connie, Adrien, and Kirika are important to us, and they were here when it was just me and Ten, or before me or Ten. Lady Me has a room on the TARDIS, but Ten's fed up with her antics and he asked the rest of him to try to help him get to know her so she stops whinging that he's different from the one she knows. And he's hoping will actually get to know the real him for once. [EYE ROLL!!!]

[And an evil grin.]

And since I'd be the one to have to bend you a room in the TARDIS, I'm sure you'd much rather wait to be able to do for yourself, yeah?

[A small frown.] But really don't bug Four. The rest of him are super protective of him because he's the youngest and freest, and kind of not really savvy on emotions. Even if you mean well, they might not view the teasing the same. Ten gets on me for it too. [Shrugs.]

Eight's from before the war, so I keep telling Lady Me she could probably get along best with him, but I'm not even going to pretend I'll share Nine ever. Only with Jack. [QUIET.] I love Jack.

[What humor was on River's features slowly fled the more Rose talked. Did she just...ban her from interacting with her husband? Perhaps it was the Pond in her, but, that... that she wasn't going to take lying down.

Nor was she going to accept charity from the insecure girl standing before her. River's features became a little more...dangerous as she kept smiling.]

If I'm in danger, it's because I want to be and it's a pity the real TARDIS isn't here. I'm rather sure she would be happy to see me. She always is and the adventures we go on are right up there with hers and the Doctors.

[She knew how to properly fly the TARDIS. Something she very much doubted Rose knew how to do. In fact, she really doubted Rose knew just what she unleashed.]

Now, let me make something blatantly clear. I do not mind sharing my husband with others. A fact you may wish to get used to because make no mistake Rose Tyler, he married me and I will not be dictated to on how to handle my own husband by a woman who is so insecure she just literally told one of the most dangerous women in the universe 'No touchy, he's mine'.

[Yes, definitely the Pond in her shining through.]

I have done more for that man than you ever could and ever will. So I suggest you get used to sharing him because heaven's know I have and that's part of what makes loving him work.

[Grits her teeth.]

[And takes out the blue TARDIS diamond ring Ten made for her. Carefully unhooks it from her TARDIS keychain and puts it on her hand.]

[In some ways, it's like an older Rose. And she frankly considered it a wonder now that the younger Doctors hadn't taken turns to punching Ten sometimes.]

I didn't say don't talk to him, or don't touch.

I said I'm not sharing him. Not even all of him, just Nine. You can have whatever relationship the two of you want together, that's nothin' to do with me.

[She could fly the TARDIS properly.]

[???]

[Rose feels a little betrayed, truth told. And the idea that she has adventures without the Doctor unnerves her to no end.]

[She winds up biting a nail in thought.] Yeah, right. I suggest tellin' him that bit about adventurin' without him. He'll love it.

[About as much as Rose loved him adventuring without her.]

[Which was to say....]

[No, she hated it.]

And this has nothing to do with my insecurities over him. [SIGHS and pushes her hair back with a hand.] Do you think you being dangerous is supposed to scare me? I've met the dalek emperor, and even Sarah Jane said I'm more than a match for him! [Annoyed growl.]

I said, I won't share 9. Try pulling the husband thing with him. See how far you get. [SHRUGS.]

[She wonders if it IS insecurity. Well, probably? She's NEVER had clear footing with him, where they stand. And even when he tried over and over to give that to her, did she believe him?]

[She did here. And now. In Nautilus. She trusted him.]

[Rose holds up a hand. Serious-faced.] Right, don't, and just take it as a warning from a child, all right? I'm sure you treasure every moment you spend with the Doctor, just as much as I do -- [Why adventure without him then?! He wasn't just the TARDIS. He was dumb and likely to fall apart without help! He was reckless to the point of suicide. He needed, always needed, a hand to hold. What was the point of a wife if not that?]

[Rose will never understand him.] 'm just -- not in a good place with him all split up. Don't get me wrong, I love gettin' to see his different lives, I do. And I love meetin' all of him, and it's like havin' my childhood best friend around I never knew was missin' before, yeah?

[How to explain it?]

[Well she couldn't. She couldn't even put it into words. That 9 was like her wolf mate. That 10 she had no choice but to trust, and did, and knew he was depressed about his future and losing Rose, and whatever else, and that she was glad anyone could hold him together.]

[But 9 was....]

[Maybe it was insecurity.]

[With Ten, she knew he fell in love with Renneitte in just one day, knew he was going to need to move on in the future and...]

Seriously, talk to Eight, all right? The fancy gothic one.

I can't explain it about 9, but I mean it. I don't share. Do your worst, because it won't make it happen.

[9 died for her, turned into 10 because of that. Maybe part of Rose was worried what would happen if it didn't. But then... she'd already told 8, she would give it all up, let 8 undo even 9's existence if it meant the Doctor would be happier.]

[Happier right? So she should share 9.]

[She 1000000% can't though.]

[Every time she's tried ended in disaster! Maybe she was as dependent on him as Fluffy was for staying stable on Rose?? Or worse???]

[Why.]

[WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?]

[She's going to have to talk to Adrien and Dirk and maybe Four.]

[But she's not walking it back either.]

You can have saved him billions of times and it still doesn't change all the times I have either, yeah? And I am sorry, that he isn't gonna remember you here. That he's all too young, because I know I acted the idiot around 8, and I still do. [Shakes her head.] But it's not about him, it's about me.

I haven't married him, because I don't want to force his hands. His younger or older selves.

I can't share 9 anymore than I can just... share my Mum. Or Dad. Just too much. Let it grow on me and we'll see, I always wanted a kid sibling to boss around.

[Shakes her head. It's funny. THIS is the kind of speech she expected Sarah Jane to give her back then. And the fact that she was doing it to someone else now when Sarah Jane had been nothing but supprotive and blessedly helpful does NOT make her proud.]

[Like a part of her watching herself out of the corner of her eye wanting to smack herself.]

[And yet she couldn't stop either.]

You can marry a future version of him, and I'm happy for you, I really am. Both of you, even. [And... it's true, albeit somewhat to Rose's admitted surprise...]

But I'm still not sharing 9. The only reason I could with Jack, is because I already did.

Do whatever you want, I'm not gonna stop ya. I'm just not gonna share him. [Said for the 80th time or so...]

[River remains calm as Rose watches and the more she says, the more it cements her opinion of Rose. An insecure girl that truly doesn't understand what it means to really love a man like The Doctor.]

I've made Daleks beg for mercy at the mere mention of my name.

[That was the only thing she has to say about Rose's claims or just how much they fear her over The Doctor. Or, did before he went and erased all his records. Even then, River's not a woman to mess with with her own reputation to stand on.

She didn't need to be in The Doctor's shadow, she stood equal with him in every way imaginable. And she was definitely not someones 'kid sibling.' Or that easily to rile. Rose just so happened to press buttons that were never meant to be pressed when it came to River's relationship with The Doctor.]

Whether or not he cares for my adventures with the TARDIS doesn't matter. She was always willing to dash off and be back before he noticed and there's nothing he can do about it.

[Which spoke volumes about just how much the TARDIS trusted River. And as for the ring... she wanted to laugh. A ring? She never needed one to know he loved her. River just knew that he loved her in some form or another and accepted that.

When one loves a Timelord, they need to understand that they may as well be loving the stars themselves and that they must be able to share him, all of him no matter what. That will never change no matter how young or old he may be. To see him with someone so selfish and possessive almost made her feel sorry for 9 and 10. But, they did it to themselves.

River merely had to sit back and wait for them to come to their senses and she was rather confident they would after she's been around long enough.]

Rose, there is a lot about him you will never understand and I doubt you ever will, especially when it comes to loving someone like him.

Don't.

Don't ever try to tell me how to love the Doctor.

I never wanted to in the first place. You might think you know him, but you know the version who stopped trying to chuck 'imself in front of trains, because I held his hand when he needed it.

There are plenty of days when I know exactly how mad it is to be even just travelin' with a centuries old alien, but I don't love him because I chose to or made some choice about that. The choice I did make, the important one, is that I promised him forever. And I'm not letting anythin' come between that. Not the dalek emperor, not TimeLords, not even Hell or the Void itself, and sorry, but not you either, yeah?

There's a lot I will never understand about him, that I'll definitely die before I get to, and I really don't care. Because for me he's not a puzzle to solve either. He's just my best friend. Someone I run with. And I hold his hand and remind him that the universe isn't all black holes and demons, it's fun and silly, and adventurous and wonderful, and being kind can hurt, yeah, but it's still always better'n not! And there's always people in the wrong place, at the wrong time, that he can help and make the universe a nicer place worth livin' in.

Is scarin' daleks supposed to be intimidating or somethin'? So does the Master. So does he. Come talk to me when you do the impossible and give them back emotions they aren't even supposed to be able to have. Or eliminate all of them from the universe and time and space for the billionth time, because not even losing Gallifrey could get rid of all the daleks! But I did. And I didn't even do it on purpose!

Anyone can destroy or hurt. That's nothin'. That's all daleks think they can do. My job is to remind him he's bettar than that! And I'm sure as hell not perfect at it, maybe not even good at it, but there's a reason he doesn't like guns. You can be his wife, but from where I sit? You know him less than he knows himself, and that's just sad.

[River's smile grew mysterious and dangerous. It was the smile that made men run and daleks beg for mercy before she killed them. Rose wanted to talk about the impossible? She thought eliminating Daleks from time and space was something to boast about?

River had news for her. That was nothing compared to what her love for that silly mad man led her to do and will continue to lead her to.

And quite frankly, she could tell that no matter what she said, Rose felt self righteous about her love for the Doctor. That alone made River pity her of all things.]

The Doctor doesn't need someone to hold his hand. He never did and he never will. The mere fact you think that is rather hilarious and very childish. What that man needs is someone just as mad as he is to get right into the thick of trouble with him.

[She pauses for a moment, considering something and then says it anyway.]

If you really think you wiped the Daleks from existence then, you failed. The Daleks are very much alive in the future and nasty as ever.

[Vindictive? Probably. But, she couldn't resist.]

As for promising him 'forever', that notion alone is rather ridiculous.

Times end, Rose. They have to. Even my time with him draws to a close and even though it hurts him, he needs those moments to appreciate the good times and grow with the bad times.

As for knowing him better...

[All River had to do was whisper one word into his ear and he would trust her without fail. However, that was never, ever done lightly. That was reserved for the most dire of circumstances.. a secret that she would take to her very grave and she had a feeling was very well going to.]

Spoilers.

Edited 2017-07-01 07:34 (UTC)

April Test Drive Meme

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.

Re: B.