The TEST DRIVE Meme

[halfspooky]

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Stolen from eppy

Comments

:3 Oh brilliant. I love playing against your Crocker!

[pronetoprobing]

It's Dib. Actually. My name is Dib. Why is that such a hard name for everyone here to remember?

And a Deva's kind of like a very powerful reality bender. They do weird things sometimes because they think it's funny. It's a little annoying, to be honest.

Magic. Right. Or paranormal activity, poltergeists, but it's almost definitely magic. Yep.

awwww thank you! I love playing against Dib

[crackpotcrocker]

[Denzel is just silent and listening to the child for a change]

I told you, you where the strangest thing here. AND I WAS RIGHT! HA AH!

And no it's not some Deva that causes all the reality shifting back home but - FAIRY GODPARENTS!

[pronetoprobing]

I'm not strange! I'm perceptive!

...Fairy...godparents?

[crackpotcrocker]

I'm afraid you don't understand. All the children where I come from, don't acknowledge magic or the supernatural. When I know it's there.
Not even the Manchild who has the magic. I COULD MURDER HIM! .....

[Pause] In fact,you remind me of me! When I was younger.

[Pause] This is strange. I've never gone to a 'like' feeling with a child before.

Yes - FAIRY GODPARENTS! They're fairies who grant the wishes of children in my world. And the fairy magic is compatible of twisting the fabic of physics as I was telling you about the Comic Book world or the chainsaws into balloons.

... There was even a bottomless ballpit where I ended up falling from the sky to the ground, that those fairies used their magic for.

[pronetoprobing]

[Under his breath] Man, I'm not that annoying, am I?

Wait. Wait, back up. All children? But that's crazy! I mean, it's stupid! What if your wishes counteract the wishes of someone else? How does anyone survive?

Wait.

...Could -I- get fairy godparents? In your world?

[crackpotcrocker]

[Denzel looks rather taken by Dib's sudden questions. Things he actually hadn't considered in all of his years studying this want/wish magic and doesn't recall being mindwiped either and therefore doesn't remember Da Rules]

I don't know about all the children. After all, it took thirty years to find one that did have fairies.

[Long silence] I can't answer those. You're a child. You could. [Expect he still doesn't get it's just miserable children that are given this impossible magic]

But then I believed in those fairies and never had any. [Or so he thinks...]

[pronetoprobing]

So maybe there's only a limited amount in the world. We need to find a few other kids with them in order to compare notes, but I'm sure they have ways of keeping themselves hidden. Thirty years? Really? How did you know to even begin looking for them?

[crackpotcrocker]

Oh, I'm sure there's many. After all, I heard at least hundreds of those little fairies, laughing in Turner's bathroom that one time... Not that anything was there when I opened the door. But I know I heard them. THEY WHERE THERE! [Twitch twitch] That and my magic detector picked up on them.

.... We?

Apparently, they do.

Yes, since I was ten. More like forty three years now but took thirty years to find someone with a fairy. [Pulls out his Fairy Tracker from his pants pocket. Never goes anywhere without that] I found this in my pocket when I was ten. [The front of the device looks like a gameboy and then Crocker flips that over. In child like scribbles are the words;
Fairy Godparents Exist]

[pronetoprobing]

[Dib stands on tiptoe to look over Crocker's arm and observe the device]

Well...That does seem suspicious. Not much to go on, but if you don't know where it came from...

Ten years old. Is there some significance to that number?

[crackpotcrocker]

It was March 15th, 1972 and ten years till the second worst day of my life. Besides that no. Oh, and there's a green fairy hair inside the device. You see, it's a DNA tracker. [The odd thing about the tracker it doesn't looked aged at all. Insert Back to the Future music here]

[pronetoprobing]

Really? A fairy DNA tracker?

[Dib reaches for the device in order to look it over]

Can I see?

[crackpotcrocker]

Yes. It's inner workings is what I base all my other inventions for hunting those fairies off of.


And why should I allow that?

[pronetoprobing]

I've seen DNA trackers before. I just want to see how it works.

[crackpotcrocker]

[There's a long pause as Crocker seems to maul this over. He's very protective of his invention out of all of them but then Dib does remind him of himself....]

You damage it I'll kill you. [And hands Dib the tracker and looks so insane in saying that]

[pronetoprobing]

That's....extreme.

[Dib holds it in both hands, turning it over and beginning to fiddle with it]

How do you know it works?

[crackpotcrocker]

Says you!

[Too bad Crocker can't explain all the twist of time and why he's so attached to that device]

Like I said there's a fairy hair inside. Over the years, I've ran some DNA tests on that and couldn't possibly be anything normal. Considering there's a magic gene in the sequence.

[If Dib dares, he'll pull out a green strand of hair]

I... Can't explain how I know that is a fairy hair in there before I did any analysis but I did! [A brief twitching and Denzel's hands are a bit antsy. As he continues to rub his lanky hands upon themselves, more then usual.]
[If Dib does looks inside he'll found a normal DNA tracker and if Dib takes a moment to look into Crocker's eyes besides the crazy, he'll see prehaps something in the back of the man's eyes that he does know what he's talking about but can't see to communicate that.]

[pronetoprobing]

...Ah huh. So you just had an instinctual feeling? That could be an indication of concussion-induced memory loss...or craziness.

[He holds up the light green hair to the light, squinting at it]

Huh.

[crackpotcrocker]

[Crocker nods and continues to mesh his hands nervously] Yes, I'm well aware I'm crazy and proud of it! [short maniacal laugher and pause]

Almost done?

[If Crocker only knew that was a hair of his fairy when he was a child]

[pronetoprobing]

You're a self-admitted crazy person? And you want people to believe you?

[Dib hands the device back after replacing the hair, not fully convinced but open to the possibilities]

How could you even catch a fairy if they have unlimited magic?

[crackpotcrocker]

There was a time when I wouldn't had said I was crazy.

[Crocker snatches the device back. HIS ONE. HIS ONLY. HIS PERCIOUS. Yes, he's rubbing the tracker on the side of his face...]

That's just a plain silly question. My special butterfly net.

[pronetoprobing]

But then you...what? Realized you were? Do fairies even exist?

A..butterfly net.

[crackpotcrocker]

...More like I was told. OF COURSE THEY DO! [Look at that unshakeable faith]

Yes, with special anti magical netting that I wove.

...You don't believe in any of this do you? [Here he thought he could trust you]

[pronetoprobing]

People call me crazy all the time. I don't think that's a fair indication of sane and rational thought.

No, I mean, I'm open to the idea, but I can't say I've ever heard of fairy godparents before. I'd need to start an independent investigation to be sure.

[crackpotcrocker]

SHUT UP! Why don't you become a public mockey for thirty three years and see how you turn out. [In more of whispter] And long lonely nights in the asylum. [Look at that sheer and those disjointed teeth]

[Pause] Without my help?

[pronetoprobing]

...Well, I'm eleven, but I mean, there's the Crazy House for Boys. That's sort of like an asylum, right?

Just independently. In order to verify your studies without bias.