The TEST DRIVE Meme

[halfspooky]

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Stolen from eppy

Comments

[pronetoprobing]

...Uh, no.

No, not really.

I mean, obviously this is an unusual occurrence but-

Ignore Zimmy down there.

[crackpotcrocker]

Oh, a ch - ild.....

Well. This just became the strangest occurrence in my life.

[Which for Crocker was saying a lot. Considering, he's body swapped with a few people, became a comic book super villain and an evil warlock. Chased a pink internet virus, saw a dinosaur transform in a dog. Not to mention things he doesn't even remember. Oh, and seen an alien. A green squid like one.]

You must be this Dib child, I've heard so much about. [Cue look of child hate]

[pronetoprobing]

What? Coming to Nautilus? Yeah, most people say that. It IS pretty strange but things start to click after the first month or so.

That's right. Uh. Who are you?

[crackpotcrocker]

No. I'm talking about you, child. That Manchild back home has done more things with - FAIRIES! Being in this so called Nautilus place is almost normal. [Don't mind the man as he chews on his pencil like a psychotically before groaning]

Denzel Crocker.

[pronetoprobing]

Wait. Me? You're in Nautilus, with Bending and reality storms and you think I'm the strangest thing around?! How does that even make sense?! It's not like I'm a different species! We're human! Pure fleshy meaty human!

Right. Okay. Mr, uh...Denzel Crocker. So you're...what, exactly? From some sort of weird world like Nautilus?

[crackpotcrocker]

YES! It's makes perfect sense! [There he goes twitching again]

Still - F!.... Mmmm... Awkward... I don't seem to have my big red marker on me....DARN IT! [Since he was completely planning on drawing an 'F' on your forehead Dib]

Well... [Trailing off, and just rolls his shoulder, he does look he could be Crocker's son]

That's Mr. Crocker to you.

[There's a beat as he looks straight into Dib's eyes. Which Crocker's blue eyes do swim with a large amount of insanity and lack of sleep but that's besides the point. With a hint of evil.]

Where I come from, I've seen my entire world change into a comic book.

And chainsaws transform into balloons.

[Now, Denzel could be making hockum up but maybe Dib will see the same glimmer in Crackpot's eyes that he has in his own, quest for the truth?
Considering all that crazy Crocker just rambled was in fact the truth.]

[pronetoprobing]

[Frowning. Crocker does seem a little out of whack, but Dib's too self-secure to see any resemblance between them]

That sounds like some unusual paranormal activity, Mr. Crocker. Possibly the work of some all-powerful Deva, they're sort of jerks like that. But chainsaws into balloons? That sounds more like magic than anything science can currently produce.

What kind of evidence is there? Do you have one of the balloon-chainsaws? Although it probably..just looks like an ordinary balloon, but maybe there are some residual effects...!

I will pick this up and the other threads in the morning

[crackpotcrocker]

Look I know it's the work of magic. You don't have to tell me it's not child!

[There's a beat. That was the automatic reply to say the least. To everyone. Especially Turner.]

Deva? [What's that and are you going along with this?]

[Denzel is silent as his brain really needs to process this. 13 years of a child lying to his face about magic and the rest of them laughing at him about it.]

Did you... Did you just say magic?

:3 Oh brilliant. I love playing against your Crocker!

[pronetoprobing]

It's Dib. Actually. My name is Dib. Why is that such a hard name for everyone here to remember?

And a Deva's kind of like a very powerful reality bender. They do weird things sometimes because they think it's funny. It's a little annoying, to be honest.

Magic. Right. Or paranormal activity, poltergeists, but it's almost definitely magic. Yep.

awwww thank you! I love playing against Dib

[crackpotcrocker]

[Denzel is just silent and listening to the child for a change]

I told you, you where the strangest thing here. AND I WAS RIGHT! HA AH!

And no it's not some Deva that causes all the reality shifting back home but - FAIRY GODPARENTS!

[pronetoprobing]

I'm not strange! I'm perceptive!

...Fairy...godparents?

[crackpotcrocker]

I'm afraid you don't understand. All the children where I come from, don't acknowledge magic or the supernatural. When I know it's there.
Not even the Manchild who has the magic. I COULD MURDER HIM! .....

[Pause] In fact,you remind me of me! When I was younger.

[Pause] This is strange. I've never gone to a 'like' feeling with a child before.

Yes - FAIRY GODPARENTS! They're fairies who grant the wishes of children in my world. And the fairy magic is compatible of twisting the fabic of physics as I was telling you about the Comic Book world or the chainsaws into balloons.

... There was even a bottomless ballpit where I ended up falling from the sky to the ground, that those fairies used their magic for.

[pronetoprobing]

[Under his breath] Man, I'm not that annoying, am I?

Wait. Wait, back up. All children? But that's crazy! I mean, it's stupid! What if your wishes counteract the wishes of someone else? How does anyone survive?

Wait.

...Could -I- get fairy godparents? In your world?

[crackpotcrocker]

[Denzel looks rather taken by Dib's sudden questions. Things he actually hadn't considered in all of his years studying this want/wish magic and doesn't recall being mindwiped either and therefore doesn't remember Da Rules]

I don't know about all the children. After all, it took thirty years to find one that did have fairies.

[Long silence] I can't answer those. You're a child. You could. [Expect he still doesn't get it's just miserable children that are given this impossible magic]

But then I believed in those fairies and never had any. [Or so he thinks...]

[pronetoprobing]

So maybe there's only a limited amount in the world. We need to find a few other kids with them in order to compare notes, but I'm sure they have ways of keeping themselves hidden. Thirty years? Really? How did you know to even begin looking for them?

[crackpotcrocker]

Oh, I'm sure there's many. After all, I heard at least hundreds of those little fairies, laughing in Turner's bathroom that one time... Not that anything was there when I opened the door. But I know I heard them. THEY WHERE THERE! [Twitch twitch] That and my magic detector picked up on them.

.... We?

Apparently, they do.

Yes, since I was ten. More like forty three years now but took thirty years to find someone with a fairy. [Pulls out his Fairy Tracker from his pants pocket. Never goes anywhere without that] I found this in my pocket when I was ten. [The front of the device looks like a gameboy and then Crocker flips that over. In child like scribbles are the words;
Fairy Godparents Exist]

[pronetoprobing]

[Dib stands on tiptoe to look over Crocker's arm and observe the device]

Well...That does seem suspicious. Not much to go on, but if you don't know where it came from...

Ten years old. Is there some significance to that number?

[crackpotcrocker]

It was March 15th, 1972 and ten years till the second worst day of my life. Besides that no. Oh, and there's a green fairy hair inside the device. You see, it's a DNA tracker. [The odd thing about the tracker it doesn't looked aged at all. Insert Back to the Future music here]

[pronetoprobing]

Really? A fairy DNA tracker?

[Dib reaches for the device in order to look it over]

Can I see?

[crackpotcrocker]

Yes. It's inner workings is what I base all my other inventions for hunting those fairies off of.


And why should I allow that?

[pronetoprobing]

I've seen DNA trackers before. I just want to see how it works.

[crackpotcrocker]

[There's a long pause as Crocker seems to maul this over. He's very protective of his invention out of all of them but then Dib does remind him of himself....]

You damage it I'll kill you. [And hands Dib the tracker and looks so insane in saying that]

[pronetoprobing]

That's....extreme.

[Dib holds it in both hands, turning it over and beginning to fiddle with it]

How do you know it works?

[crackpotcrocker]

Says you!

[Too bad Crocker can't explain all the twist of time and why he's so attached to that device]

Like I said there's a fairy hair inside. Over the years, I've ran some DNA tests on that and couldn't possibly be anything normal. Considering there's a magic gene in the sequence.

[If Dib dares, he'll pull out a green strand of hair]

I... Can't explain how I know that is a fairy hair in there before I did any analysis but I did! [A brief twitching and Denzel's hands are a bit antsy. As he continues to rub his lanky hands upon themselves, more then usual.]
[If Dib does looks inside he'll found a normal DNA tracker and if Dib takes a moment to look into Crocker's eyes besides the crazy, he'll see prehaps something in the back of the man's eyes that he does know what he's talking about but can't see to communicate that.]

[pronetoprobing]

...Ah huh. So you just had an instinctual feeling? That could be an indication of concussion-induced memory loss...or craziness.

[He holds up the light green hair to the light, squinting at it]

Huh.