It's time.... TO DUEL. I MEAN TEST DRIVE.

[thewakemods]

It's that time again!

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Cecil Palmer || Welcome to Night Vale

[goodnight_vale]

[This was not Night Vale. This had never been Night Vale. Cecil stomps around the area of the gate, rather put out by this turn of events.

This has to be Steve Carlsberg's fault.

It has to be!]

At least this isn't Desert Bluffs, Cecil. You have to keep telling yourself this...it's not Desert Bluffs.

[Video]

[colossal_bertl]

What's a Desert Bluff?

I don't know what those are.

Are they mean?

[Video]

[goodnight_vale]

What's a Desert Bluff, you ask? What's a Desert Bluff, he asks!? As if there could be more than one vile little town named Desert...Bluff.

[He face is contorted up in a twisted frown. And just as suddenly, the expression fades.]

You know what? I think it hardly matters. This place is obviously not...Desert Bluff. [He takes a moment to adjust his tie, smoothing down any wrinkles caused moments ago.] Of course...the real question is. Where I am? And who are you?

[Video]

[colossal_bertl]

Oh...okay, then.

This is Nautilus.

And I'm Bertholdt. Bertholdt Fubar.

[Video]

[goodnight_vale]

Nautilus. [He repeats. Then repeats again, as if testing out the word and how it rolls off of his tongue.] And where is Nautilus? I am in some sort of...city, aren't I?

[He takes a moment to scrutinize the image up on the screen. Perhaps he was imaging all of this, but if some figment of his imagination wished to be called Bertholdt, then who was Cecil to argue?]

I would say...nice to meet you, only I haven't actually met you, in person. Actually, it is nice to meet you, in person or not. Because you are a person, aren't you?

[audio]

[andimusthate]

Depending on your perspective, that could be a good thing, I suppose.

But I also... suppose that it could all just be relative. Heh.

[audio]

[goodnight_vale]

It is a good thing! [Cecil angrily retorts into the receiver. Why does no one else seem to understand this!?]

Relatively speaking. [With a bat of an eye, his tone is considerably more congenial.] Relatively speaking, all of this could be...a hallucination and you are simply a fragment of my disillusioned mind.

Depending...on your perspective, I suppose.

[audio]

[andimusthate]

Oho, oh, don't I know it.

[AM sounds a little... too pleased, at the notion of being a hallucination. But why not, he's played that part many times before, in the minds of his victims.]

A rather vivid phantasmagoria of your faculties, I should think. But a consensus reality should assure you well enough that you're only speaking to a computer.

[audio]

[goodnight_vale]

Oh? There's a consensus this time around? Well...isn't that quaint. [Then again, Cecil tries not to overthink things, too much.]

One must never discount the futile attempts of the human mind to make sense of the world around them to imagine entirely new...[He pauses to look around. Still not Night Vale, but also, thankfully, still not Desert Bluffs.]...surroundings. Why just the other day Old Woman Josie phoned in about the angels living in her home. As if they really exist...! But what do I know, I'm talking to a computer, after all.

Unless...that happens to be your name, of course.

[voicelessly]

[ A girl wanders nearby, presumably having come out of the very same gate. She seems to be preoccupied with the sky overhead, the ground, everything. When she sees the new stranger she gives him a worried glance. ]

...?

[goodnight_vale]

[Cecil continues his stomping and muttering, punctuated by a very loud 'THIS IS NOT DESERT BLUFF!' before he takes notice that he is no longer alone.]

You'll agree with me, won't you? [He asks. It was a reasonable request, after all. This truly was not Desert Bluffs.]

[voicelessly]

[ She purses her lips and spares him a firm nod, Though her concerns seem more focused elsewhere. Unfamiliar place, no weapon, and a stranger. Couldn't very well leave him there.

She grabs his sleeve and tugs on it, pointing further away from the gate. ]

[goodnight_vale]

[At least someone has some sense around here. His proverbial feathers weren't as ruffled as moments before, even s the oddly silent woman grasps onto his sleeve.]

Oh...yes? We should leave, shouldn't we? Before something shows up. Something...unpleasant. [Even without a microphone in front of him, Cecil doesn't stop narrating the scene, as it were.]

If this isn't Desert Bluffs, and this certainly isn't Night Vale - oh. Night Vale. I miss your sandy streets already. [He shakes himself, best not get sidetracked now!] Then where are we? Unless I'm imagining this entire place, which is entirely possible. The Imagination Edition of the Daily Journal just came in, you know.

[Video]

[bringchillifries]

Are these bluffs of yours poisonous? Or perhaps carnivorous or dangerous in any such way....hmmmm?

[Video]

[goodnight_vale]

Hardly! [Cecil scoffs.] If only they were poisonous! All it would be was a simple matter of calling in some government agency to wipe it from the face of the Earth, but...no. It's not that simple. Nothing is ever...that simple.

Desert Bluffs...! Is...well. If you don't know about it, why bother? I wouldn't want to sully your ears even explaining it. [He ends on a low, rumble, a near growl.]

But, ah. [He chuckles lightly, tone switching in a heartbeat.] If I'm not there, and I'm not in Night Vale, then I don't know where I am.

[Video]

[bringchillifries]

Indeed, I must agree in that nothing is ever simple.

Well, I'm certain it isn't worth knowing about, then.

In any case, you are in the peculiar place called Nautilus. A collection of bric a brac in a sort of pocket dimension where reality changes on a regular basis.

[Video]

[goodnight_vale]

Oh, is that all? [Cecil drawls, mostly to cover for a sudden case of nervousness!]

And who are you, anyways? The welcome wagon?

[Action] Well, this IS the crack community...

[pineapplesalmon]

[Caesar was coming back from the library, a book bag slung over his shoulder and licking an ice cream cone. The ice cream cone wasn't really necessary. It had just been a while since he had it, and it was hot today.

He blinked at the man stomping around the gate. Oh, he must be new.]

Hello?

[Caesar raised his voice, lowering his ice cream cone so it wouldn't get in the way.]

Are you new here?

[Action]

[goodnight_vale]

[Cecil continues to stomp and mutter for a few moments more before turning to the newcomer. He glances from Caesar, to the ice cream cone, back to Caesar, then to his hair and back to Caesar.]

That depends on where here is. Here isn't Night Vale, is it? [He was pretty sure it wasn't, but just in case...!]

Re: [Action]

[pineapplesalmon]

[He was definitely new, then.]

No, this is Nautilus.

[He paused for a moment.]

Have you had any experience with the supernatural or multiple universes? Otherwise, Nautilus might seem a little hard to believe.

[Action]

[goodnight_vale]

I knew it!

[He he hadn't. So, Cecil stomps around again for good measure. It's the only thing he feels like he has control over right now!]

[He calms quikly, though. Adjusting his vest as he looks to the stranger once again.]

I can't say I've had direct experience, no. But I can't say that I haven't either. Or, at least, now I could say I have. [He briefly eyes the Gate.] It doesn't look like the wooden doors that have been cropping up around Night Vale, but I'm not a scientist. Carlos is, if he were here...[Oh, he chokes up a little. Carlos is going to be so worried!]...If he were here, he'd explain it.

[Audio] Carlos || Welcome to Night Vale || AKA JENN IS TERRIBLE

[beautifulscientist]

[He didn't even have his radio app up on his phone when Cecil's voice comes over it. In fact, he hadn't the faintest memory of ever installing this application at all. And yet, it was there, and yet, Cecil's voice was there, speaking. It wasn't the radio show--there was no sound proofed walls to keep out the background noise of the world around him.

Carlos doesn't know where the desert went; he's in a city now that is definitely not Night Vale. And it sounds like Cecil is here as well.

His heart beats faster. Does that mean they're in the same place once again?

When he's finally done staring at his phone, he figures out how to send a reply message back, and brings his phone up to his face.

Connect, connect... He's tired of voice mails. Just a conversation, just one....]

Cecil? Hello, Cecil?

[Audio]

[goodnight_vale]

[Cecil very nearly drops his phone. There's the distinct muffled sound as he tries to keep a firm grip on the device.]

Carlos! Carlos, oh, Carlos, is that you? Is that really you?

[After all the voicemails, he wasn't sure. They hadn't actually spoken, together, at the same time, in a long while. Far too long.]

[Audio]

[beautifulscientist]

[He holds his breath as Cecil responds, forgetting how to breathe. And yet, as he finishes speaking, Carlos still finds his words.]

Yes, it is me! I am Carlos. Is that really you, Cecil? Have our points of existence finally converged enough that we are once again on the same plane of existence?

[Audio]

[goodnight_vale]

I think so. At least, I think it's me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that yes, I'm Cecil, but you know what? That's not really important right now. [He's babbling and nervous. This is almost as bad as saying NEAT! to everything!]

What's important is that you're you. You're Carlos. Right? You ha...you have you be.

[If this is some cruel joke then Cecil isn't sure he can take it.]